Adolescence
"We need it to survive. It's inevitable. By this period in the lives of their children come every "- say the parents of adolescents. Adolescence is so horrible? Is it impossible to prepare for and live it easily, with pleasure, with interest?
Yesterday
We turn to the recent past, when our children were lying across the bed, just starting to crawl and walk, talk and prove to the world that can do something for yourself. And then it was necessary to begin "raising a teenager," and begin, as usual, with himself.
-Right on oshibku.Chto whatever was trying to make a child sit back and let him experiment. Here he climbs the steep stairs, you have compressed the heart, but keep yourself and let him act himself. Believe me, nothing wrong with it can not happen. The child is no fool. It does just what it lacks today. He wins his little victory tomorrow to take a new height.
And that rushes headlong across the ice on which an adult is hardly (so goes my younger son). At first, I trembled and cried out: "Egor, then the ice!" Then he stopped. Over the road from the house to stop it falling a few times, gets up and runs again, stops a few seconds, breathing like a locomotive, and then march brosok.Deti doing a lot of cases, and our challenge - to leave behind them the right to make mistakes. It's their life. They came to Earth to live on her own. We're trying to do it for them, protecting and defending.
Dover. The child himself knows what he wants, you should also learn to trust his wishes. If they do not understand you, then you should find out why they want it enough to make sure: just like a child to want to do and will not do. And if a child's actions have reasons, then why do not you trust him?
-This is his life. Alas, this is the case. As we would not like to think that we need him, like air, it's true only up to a certain extent. We need him exactly up until he has a need for us, namely our love.
Imagine that before you adult. Will you try to force their assistance, protection, advice, will control his actions, litter straw, to correct his mistakes? No? But just so you do with your child! You say: that's my baby! So what? So you're a chain, which is tightly bound him? So, you whip who is willing to straighten it at any desired moment? You are a slave-owner who has the right to do with his slave whatever he wants?
As my dad at one time: I can tell you all that I think of you. Because I - your father. You can not tell me anything that you think about me. Just listen to the silence. Because you - my daughter. Justice here, in my opinion, and does not smell. What do you think? You as a parent, much, much more, but live your life for your child you can not afford. And if you suddenly are thinking to do it, then take a very serious crime against his child.
Mate-blagodarnost.Poka small child, we do not expect from him thanks, but the older he gets, the more we want to get from him in return for what we have for the sake of it and did. While growing child, we strongly believe (which I tend to call stupid), should understand and appreciate. Well, nothing he will not have to! We care about him, because they themselves want it, and the child has got nothing to do with it.
Today
All of the above applies equally to parents of children of any age. With one small difference: if a parent of a baby still has time for experimenting, then the parents of teens do not. Trust your teenager, take away his control over care for him, as if in front of you silly, take the fact that he is - an independent adult person with the right to dispose of their own lives. Stop poking his nose into the gaps, broken promises, gaffes. Notice what is done well, and do not focus attention on what has been done poorly. And finally, opening his mouth to read notation, to make a point, to teach life, mentally count to ten, look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself a question: I'm perfect (ideal)? Now close your mouth and keep quiet.
Tomorrow
Take things easy. If children obey your demands, then the grown-up will do all in its own way, exacerbating the already difficult task for parents. But I know: you can handle. Manage, because you believe your children - the most beautiful creatures on earth. Forming a respectful attitude to the fumes, not vlamyvayas in his life, like a bull in a china shop, you'll create a powerful foundation for the future, which does not even dreamed of. In addition to useful skills (independence, the ability to take responsibility, make decisions, etc..), You would get from their children's gratitude. They become your friends. You want such a relationship? Then start right now, no matter how old the children. Change yourself, my dear parents, never late.
