Adolescent aggressiveness

In varying degrees, emotional instability inherent to all adolescents, which develops into personality traits among those who find themselves in this time without proper support from the adults. Of course, if the house instead of an obedient boy or girl appears spiteful fury, which does not like everything and the mood is changing ten times a day, parents are difficult. The impression that they have the strength of us, friends and the whole world. Sometimes a patient comes to an end, and sometimes impossible to hold back, admit. Adolescent aggressiveness - is a negative consequence of improper upbringing, adverse environment and unstable hormonal levels.

Those hormones, which detonates the young man inside certainly reflected in the rest of the family. Do not forget that the presence of the hormones we are reacting unconsciously. This may be one of the reasons we parents sometimes can not make it all easy. We are infected with the aggression and instability. Fluids worry fill the air. It is very difficult to resist. When my daughter, a good smart girl, loved by all and all understanding, entered into this age, the emotional field around it was so that the computer to malfunction when she was near him. This lasted for six months, and then everything fell into place.

With his sons was somehow softer, although problems were greater. About three years my husband and I lived as a powder keg. But time has shown that patience, attention and trust to help survive these times. Moreover, they are strengthening the relationship between generations. But sometimes it requires a very large effort, and, of course, love and understanding. So from what, after all, teenagers are becoming aggressive?

Long been noted that the main problem that occurs in adolescents and their parents - is repeatedly described the problem of fathers and children. Parents can not live a new life, children do not want to live the old way. Brewing mutiny on the ship. Children are no longer willing to depend on parents. They want friendships, partnerships based on mutual respect and trust. Parents can not, and often simply do not wish to see in their children equal to them in the mind, and all other parameters of people, and believe that children with "fat rage" and behave defiantly and arrogantly.

Teen tests of parents and other family members, checks them for strength, constantly provoking and calling for a kind of duel characters - who is stronger? And parents do not always come out victorious. And victory, if it won, has a bitter aftertaste. In this difficult time, the contradictions are not smoothed, but rather protrude and are gaining momentum. War under the eaves. Is it worth it to fight with their children? Believe me, they do not want to make enemies of the parents. It is ironic, but a teenager is willing and ready to see an adult friend, equal and respected partner. Not necessarily a parent. Usually other parents are not. This is easily explained. We see the children were foolish, inexperienced, and sometimes stubborn young, and rarely - equal. Kids rebel against this, some way of escaping from reality, from contact with their parents, moving away and become someone else, and some are beginning to be rude, rude, grumble and criticize with or without cause.

Become more tolerant of children. Each of us at one time read the Carnegie tried to apply his wild tips into practice, and became convinced that the old Dale in something right. Relationship with a husband or wife, many built on the principles of equality and mutual respect, because they - p and n s e, but no one believes a child his equal, because he - p e b e n a k. Even if he had already not a child and teenager, almost an adult. Children are looking at us, above all, emotional support, warmth and involvement. But we parents are left to them, and powerful, guiding force, we tell them where to go and what to do. This is us, our children imitate their parents, making their first steps in life.

Can you avoid conflict?

To reassure you, I will say that conflicts with the younger generation are not spared even the so-called affluent families in which the first, nor the first sight, everything is in order. Conventionally, all the conflicting family can be divided into five groups:

● Parents with children are friendly, respect them and recognize their sovereignty in some matters and allow some autonomy. Man to man is not a wolf, but a friend, comrade and brother. Parents know almost everything that happens in the life of a son or daughter, children are not afraid to share with parents their concerns and anxieties, knowing that they will always find understanding, compassion and support.

● live here in the warm and friendly atmosphere. " Parents in the best of their ability and opportunity to try to influence children in their cultural and moral development, but without pressure. Conflicts are resolved as they arise, by peaceful means. Despite the friendship that parents are somewhat distanced from their children. Children experience their parents respect and trust, usually nothing from them to hide. Children raised in such families are rarely able to demand independence - of it, and so lacking.

● The parents in these families assumed the role of breadwinners and poiltsev, try to provide children with everything they need, which in their opinion, you may want a teenager, and at this - everything. Children rarely can count on emotional support for the participation of the mother or father in their own backyard. Children's hobbies, hobbies are a whim, and within the family ostracized. All this creates an extremely tense, the conflict situation. Confrontation.

● distrust and disrespect. Strict discipline. All around the common and shared, individualistic sentiments are not welcome. Often beaten. The best of intentions, of course. Science to be kept firmly in mind. Children of parents do not trust, afraid and try to once again "does not shine." Personal affairs and problems carefully hidden, the children are set against the parents of hostility. develops persistent hostility toward all adults. Children hard to establish normal, healthy relationships with peers.

● Case trumpet. Live in such families is dangerous to mental health. Often one or both parents drink, are attracted to her duties as children. relations are far from normal.

From the above we can conclude that the whole blame only the parents. It's not quite true. Children also are not angels. They are rude, rude, behaving defiantly and arrogantly. Why do some teens believe that if parents' tastes do not coincide with their own, then with them (parents, that is) can not be ignored. Teens either shy, or just do not want to look in the parents support and sympathy. Parents for them - the source of funds, other benefits, as well as a nuisance on the road to freedom cherished.

Result of the hostilities on both sides is a complete loss of ability to communicate intelligently and constructively, the ability to compromise. Nobody wants to take the first step. Do you want peace - and then you lose, and nobody wants to admit defeat. Who should come to terms with the status quo and do anything for the sake of peace and harmony in the family? Of course, parents. They are older, wiser, they have more life experience. Teens with their youthful maximalism not under force to admit they were wrong.

They want the pain to have an older friend who could talk about their problems, ask for advice, to whom should be ashamed to be weak or pathetic, or stupid, because the older one will understand and not condemn the weakness. If the child does not find it in the family if his family did not allow him to be an adult, condemning on the second role - be sure they will find friends in other places, as well as find ways to feel older. This can be done with the help of aggression aimed at the weaker ones. Parents who are constantly repressing a child, are you sure that you will not get time in the number of those who eventually became weaker and who can demonstrate their strength, as well as take revenge for all the injustices of life, both real and imaginary?