The marital union of Joseph and Mary represents a marriage in which spouses renounce sexuality, in other words, the asexual marriage . At a time when, for example, "the institution of Catholicism became the subject of ironic criticism, psychiatrists and psychologists believe that if the absence of sexuality in marriage is not due to organic defect of one spouse, then such a marriage should be regarded as a neurotic relationship of two individuals with severe disabilities in the development of the psyche. From everyone from a young age and until the age require compliance with Mental Hygiene, which in the modern view is above all a healthy and vibrant sex life.

In my opinion, the requirement of a conformist and roughly egalitarian, because people equate to an animal, insisting on "natural" life, which refers to the first satisfaction of sexual drives. However, you can meet people, not interested in sexuality and thus do not suffer from "serious neurosis." So, there are many couples who are not too interested in sex, and such marriages are not necessarily meaningless. However, the symbolically significant sexuality can be fully realized only in marriage, the purpose of which, however, sexual satisfaction and happiness, the search for individuation, finding his identity. It can also occur outside of sexuality.

Thus, we come to the central issue of marriage, the issue of happiness and individuation. Jungian psychologists areas often suffer talkative and instead seek to individuate, to seek vseosuschestvleniya, try to fully realize themselves, are never-ending conversation. The result of a long journey of individuation - a man whole. For example, the mandala, symbolizing individuation is a circle, encompasses a variety of geometric shapes, opposites together, without losing a single one.

The word "happiness" of course does not include the value of "vseosuschestvlenie (German« die Ganzwerdung »), whose meaning is not always clear. It is about seeking salvation, in which constantly have to make sacrifices. Perhaps this sounds somewhat paradoxical, but vseosuschestvlenie - the inheritance of the victim, capable of denial, namely, the renunciation of his own personal interests, or even from the most precious - from your personality.

So, musically gifted woman has to give up music, because without her support her husband could not make a career and would have fallen into a depression. Or husband may be necessary to abandon the acquisition of weight in society, and to bury in the ground his talent for the success of his wife. Examples of this are dreaming. One man had a dream about a woman about forty years, who donated their artistic abilities for the sake of her husband and family. It is not developed his talent, but helped her husband, whose work demanded total commitment. It primarily emotionally supported him in the evening hours listening to his stories about professional problems, disappointments and achievements.

If the spouses do not agree to the sacrifice, the marriage fails, so many methods of analysis and psychotherapy lead to divorce. In this case, marriage, within which individuation, sacrifice their own development and disclosure of personality. By no obvious reasons narcissistic desire to reveal his own personality and unwillingness to sacrifice anything for the sake of marriage - the dogma of modern psychotherapy. Probably The groups may become unconscious instrument of collective fashion trends.

Spouses of middle age often turn to psychologists, psychiatrists and marriage counselors with complaints: "I can not realize himself, and I can not develop their personalities, I am forced to leave many of its unused capacity, I would like to escape from and find, at last, the very themselves. The desire to "break the stranglehold of" - a favorite theme of many novels, short stories and films.

But often it is only an awareness of the need to sacrifice part of his personality. And it is this aspect of individuation are trying to avoid. Psychologists who do not know individuatsionny nature of marriage and who do not want to hear anything about the necessity of the victim, who bow to the modern cult of personality, are servants of the good, rather than happiness and can wrongly target customers. Sacrifice rejected on dogmatic grounds. Needless to say, we are not talking about martyrdom, and the voluntary victim who does not entail reproach and leads to happiness. Therefore, in some marriages can be sacrificed, even sexuality.

Frigidity and impotence

Talk about frigidity and impotence. People who are caught leaden arrows of Eros, are often able to recover thanks to psychotherapy, but not always. Unfortunately, in this case, psychologists advise capable of sexual partner, to give vent to his sexual energy on the side. " However, just because this problem is not solved, because the dilemma faced by such couples is this: either one of them sacrifices his sexuality, or any other sacrifice self-esteem, taking treason loved one as something acceptable and inevitable.

Often, however, the rejection of sexuality, no less thrilling than its implementation. Frigid same partner has to sacrifice for his half of the aversion to sexuality and take it. In this sense, the most serious sexual deviations, frigidity and impotence, may be married by, leading to happiness. We called individuation instinctive sexuality, and marriage is described as the individuation of free choice and decision. These forms of individuation are closely related and are often experienced together, mutually supporting and enriching each other. But their close relationship can lead to dramatic circumstances and misunderstandings. One way of individuation does not automatically guarantee the other, and should not be confused with each other. From a psychological point of view of both pathways to be discovered individually.

Too many people marry on the basis of sexual passion. Erotic ecstasy - a state so exciting that at the moment a person loses the ability to realize what he was doing, so the marriage is almost inevitable. However, many young people still are able to intuitively understand that sexual ecstasy, which is usually called love, is different from the determination to go along with her future husband a long way to individuation in the marriage of determination, which has more reason to be called love.

Many partners in marriage believe they can count not only on individuation, but also a complete sexual satisfaction, which will provide a spouse. However, there are those spouses in respect of which holds just the opposite: they are on the way sexual, instinctual individuation, and themselves in vain demand that such an alliance to fulfill the tasks inherent in marriage associated with the individuation of a free, conscious decision.