Beats - it means love?
Strong feelings - that's fine. A strong man - it's wonderful. And if you felt the force of a man and his feelings on his face? How to be when he raised his hand upon thee? Domestic violence - a theme so painful and unpleasant that even talking about it does not feel like it. Typically, most advice about men hit a woman, are as follows: "Gather your things and go. If he did it once, be sure to try again. And in most cases this is true. But something strange! Girls who lived or met with bullies usually necessary to repeat such experiences. Not on purpose, of course! After beating - it means much!
For example, my friend Lena. After parting with Anton, who several times was taken to dissolve the hands in the heat of strife, she took up with Dennis, who once punched her hefty slap. After that she went to Andrew.
- It seems he is not one of those - said Lena uncertain - although I do not know. All my boyfriends seemed soft and intelligent, but then seemed zvereli. It was as if an evil fate pursues me! Importantly, I recently learned that my former Anton anyone else but me beat! He says he lives on a woman's hand is not raised!
They say that if a man beat on a person, means a bad man, if several men were beaten in the face, therefore, bad person. There is a theory that people always get in life that condemns most. A similar phenomenon was described by the well-known psychologist Lise Bourbeau, Louise Hay and many others. If a woman can not tolerate incompetent men, its elected representatives will always be rendered as such (even if at the time dating abound), if a woman condemned the violence, her boyfriend, all as one would apply to her strength.
What do you ask? How to break this vicious circle? The answer is simple: forgive him and accept the way it is! This does not mean that you continue to be obedient to endure beatings with a smile on his face. Not at all! You can pack up and go! But most importantly, forgive him! I think he gave you a lesson. Thank him for it. Say to yourself: "I forgive you and let go of my life." And like you and I will not be repeated. If you can not itself investigate the situation and genuinely offended stop, go for help to shrink or seminars of positive thinking. This will help you to overcome the situation and to avoid constant repetition of negative experiences.
How to avoid conflict
Oh, how convenient to blame all men! What if you screwed it up myself? How to find a way out so as not to lose the man of her dreams? Smashed his new Lexus or sleeping fish cakes? Went on a date with a former classmate or accidentally deleted from a computer file with its quarterly report? Scale your fault really is not so important. What is important is his reaction to your misconduct. He was very angry, cold, hurt? Well, it's time to get out. Here are some proven ways to avoid conflict!
1. Just ask for forgiveness. Humanly explain to him the situation and offer to compensate for damage. After all, who does not happen? Maybe you have a programmer friend to help recover a deleted file? Or former classmate works in the showroom and make you a discount on repairs, "Lexus"?
2. Arrange this show called "The suffering of the people." With tears and cries. Berated himself last words: "I'm so rubbish! I hate myself! I am so guilty before thee! ". Call themselves, do not hesitate in expressions. Just do not replayed. In the face of such suffering and torment your boyfriend just will not find accusations and words that can describe your offense even more than you called it herself. With a good scenario, he even begins to console you own: "Well, nothing personal. Well, think of it, went on a date with a classmate. Well, who does not happen? Between you because there was nothing? Well, do not fear .... "
