Blackmail us from childhood taught parents. This starts with a spoon for the pope, a spoon for my mother "- seemingly innocuous things. And then in the course are less innocuous: "If thou wilt not obey me, I face another, I'll give you someone else's aunt, I get sick, leave you" and so on. And the child take on responsibility for the happiness and health of parents, and then for the whole world (poor starving in Africa - this is the reason for the suffering of those people.) Sometimes this leads to serious psychological problems. It is easy to manipulate the qualities that people educate themselves in - remember the chapter about the manipulation, the so-called "such." That is, if you really want to be a good man, this place that will push the blackmailer. If you want to be an intelligent man, the blackmailer will say: "You fool" or "I will set thee a fool," and so on. That is, those things which we perceive as their own benefits, just are our weaknesses. What to do with blackmail on your feelings, especially when those feelings are my favorite people?

The biggest challenge against blackmail is that so many people are afraid of conflict. And every thing trying to build a relationship - it's mostly words: explanation, arguments, evidence. People to each other with the words overwhelmed, bombarded, catch and injure, hurt and hurt again. And if we start talking to the blackmailer about the fact that some of our values affected, it's just a conversation that the blackmailer is usually just more "factory". Therefore, in the fight against blackmail mere words do not help, and help some concrete steps, silent action.

Blackmail in a relationship exists as long as it supports the victim having a lot of different ways to support this blackmail. In fact, the fear of conflict - is the most fertile ground for blackmail. Although the conflict - it's good, but unfortunately, not very often people understand it. Because only the conflict can identify their preferences, find another point of view, to argue about it, find out the extent to which compromise is possible. People who never realized his own right to life can not live for ourselves and try to live lives of their children or partners. This model of relationships from the parent family is transferred to the partnership. You can meet people living interests of their friends, colleagues, neighbors, and so on. As soon as their partners (friends, children, colleagues, neighbors, etc.) impose its own right to life, our "fans can not live for himself" faced with the fact that they no longer understand why they live - for yourself- they do not know how. This is a terrible opening, so they do not allow themselves to recognize and otherwise impose guilt feelings to their loved ones.