Close your eyes and imagine being a bystander in a foreign kopeck piece. In the kitchen, sit the husband, wife and you. Parents are actively find out the relationship, and at some point it comes to you.

- How could you do this to him (her)!

- And you! Really was not able to him (her) to explain that ...

First you wonder why this emotional talk about you going in the third person. Then begin to interfere in it, but you ignore it. You are outraged, as you face down: Wait, dear (expensive)! Showdown at high tones degenerated into screaming, screeching, screaming. You are once again trying to vstryat in the conflict, believing that you are the culprit of the scandal. Not so fast!

- Just look - my mother cries, - to which the child had brought!

- And who, pray, it all started! - Never at a loss for words in the pocket of his father.

You - little boy or girl. Quarreling man and a woman - your parents. This house is yours, you are a member of this family, but the right to vote, you do not have - despite the fact that we, as it turned out, talking about you, your supposedly well-being, happiness and mental peace.

You quietly leave the table. Why am I to them? They quarrel because of me, speak nonsense. What are they? Perhaps, I told them something that is not landed, they no longer love me, I no longer need them! My God, how stupid it looks! And how tragic ...

Issues of upbringing

These same issues are considered essential in almost every family, but decided for some reason, mainly through conflict. What is the purpose of such fights: to improve a child's life, to defend each other to the right? You just happened to be present at a family scandal, who rolled his parents "in your honor," and certainly you have done for ourselves some important conclusions. Did you this conflict is to feel secure and happy person, full-fledged member of the family? Perhaps this scandal will be forgotten as a nightmare, and you will realize how much sense they lay? Not at all. So what purpose they serve parents when a child becomes a subject of dispute?

Struggle for power

Of course, one of the goals - the struggle for power. Who's the Boss? - Asks each adult family member, trying hard to prove that it was him. It uses lots of ways - from the deft manipulation to open blackmail. It's clear that winning the one who is stronger, smarter, quicker, who knows how to manage people and stir up trouble. Husbands and wives are fighting for territory, the right to property, freedom of speech and movement, with the illusory values, foaming at the mouth defending what imbibed with mother's milk in the father's house: stereotypes, schemas, tradition, kicks and caresses. It is not clear why all this?

- Why use the family as a testing ground war?

- Why fuss with each other?

- What are trying to reach both sides, clashing regularly?

- Why call themselves a family, when in fact you are the generals of the two warring armies?

- And finally, why would you use in your games children?

The true goal of creating a family

What drew our imagination when we marry, have played a wedding, got married, took the decision to have a baby? I'll try to guess.

- Living together in love and joy.

- To build, create, cultivate, cherish.

- All (or many) to do together.

- Enjoy every day we live.

- Take care of each other ...

Do you really think that military action will help in achieving these goals? Then why are we fighting, with each year increasing the pace of weapons, improving and modernizing weapons, rejoicing in each meter of reclaimed? Why do we perceive each other as adversaries and that prevents us to perceive each other as partners?

Crystal Ball responsibility

Love to play ball? Let's play. Catch! You straight into the hands of flies beautiful crystal ball: it shimmers in the sun, shining all sides, it is transparent. Now in your hands the best thing created by nature and man - the beauty, happiness, prosperity, peace of mind. You can catch the ball, defend and protect. Now it is yours and only yours. This is your crystal ball of responsibility . You scared? Why? You are afraid that you can not take care of him? That you are not strong enough, wise, competent? That there are people who know more than you and you will be better able to cope with your ball? You want to throw it, you are inconvenienced by the beauty for which you have to answer? After all, have to constantly think about the consequences of their words, actions and decisions. You scared? But this is only your crystal ball of responsibility . How can you not cope with what is created specifically for you? You just need to believe it!

Whose responsibility?

Do you know what parents do when cursing? They spill their balls responsibility - the very same crystal balls. You're guilty! - My fault! "- You should! - No, you should! - You're responsible for it" - No, you're responsible for it! Ball, flashing, flying from one to another. In fact, he neither cold nor hot, suffering only the participants of this game, who voluntarily renounce the ball. They do not imply wisdom, strength, patience, stamina, intuition, conferred by each holder of the ball. All these benefits veiled fear and self-flagellation. Not cope! Not! I'm not clever! No talent! I'm a bad father! I am a bad mother!

Once I too was engaged in throwing the ball, and then detained him for a moment in his hands: and suddenly not be afraid? I looked inside only for a split second before you throw it again: no, I can not let my husband decide, I can not manage! But my husband thought the same way and threw the ball to me. Next time I'll keep the ball longer. He charms: their abilities, beauty, joy, which emanated from him. And yet ... And then one day, catching a crystal ball of responsibility , I left it in his ...

Now I need not throw it. He is with me always. I know how beautiful it is, what gives me the opportunity and how much will I get if I only want this much. This ball - my responsibility for what I do in life. If I want something important happened to me, I think you can do is repeat myself: I am responsible for it. I need not wait for me to think of another, and then, having made, reproach, or will spread the ball back. Do I need it?

Not satisfied with the relationship with the child? Me. It is only my relationship with the child. My responsibility. Not satisfied with relationships with parents, husband, colleagues? Again, reviewing them, analyze, me. And this is again just my attitude. It was difficult at first. And then somehow imperceptibly began to go out dividends. It turned out that the responsibility of the great taste and it is not as terrible as it seemed at one time ...