Confident people know their capabilities and skills, and he firmly believes in his rights, he is able to express their feelings and desires acceptable way, without causing self-pity and ridicule, he communicates with all people on an equal footing, able to ask for help, and correctly denied. Confident people set goals and looking for ways and opportunities to achieve them, if something does not work, he was not discouraged, and makes adjustments to the original plans.

In contrast, a shy man (uncertain) are not sure that he deserves anything standing, if he managed to achieve something, he probably sees it as a gift from above, rather than the fruit of their multi-day effort. He conceals his feelings, as afraid to look pathetic and ridiculous, it is difficult to communicate with people, especially those who occupy higher positions in society; hesitate to ask for help and not able to say "no." Any display of rudeness or aggression takes a shy at your expense and is subject to additional experience. Thus, the shy person applies for life from the perspective of self-defense, spending a lot of strength to anxiety and nervousness.

Shy people do not talk about their experiences and feelings. Confident people can easily say such phrases as: "I do not like," I'm very upset, "" It hurts me to hear your words, while the diffident people think and can be expressed in another way: "You insult me," "You're hurting me," You want me to humiliate. " Differences are confident of insecure people in the fact that certain people trying to understand and convey to their interlocutor's emotions and experiences that so hard to give a shy person. It is this inability to articulate and voice the problem makes shy people fits of anger and resentment, who are seeking a way out in a scream, and the charges. Sometimes, on the contrary, these desires simply suppressed and postponed "until better times", the next time a minor at first glance, the reason causing serious outbreak of "accumulated" negative emotions.

For insecure people are more characteristic of resentment toward others, caused by misunderstanding. Unsure of the person offended: "You had to figure out what I want ..." "Can not you see I'm very offended ...", instead of out loud to talk about their feelings and desires. Unsure of people waiting around will try to guess what he wants and what they think, and if not, feel frustrated and humiliated.

For shy people characterized by the use of such statements as "I can not ..." "I'm not sure ..." "That's impossible ..." "I doubt it ..." "It's not so easy ..." etc. Shy people are often hang on a label on which is not so easy to get rid of in the future, they tend to draw conclusions and to allow approval of the obvious, in their opinion, the things that really are not so obvious, for example: "I'm not interested in communicating," "They think I'm a failure "," I always have bad luck, "I'm not as smart as my colleagues (classmates). Well-known physician and psychotherapist J. Dzhampolski offers a way to cure shyness: Analysis of the impact of words used by people to communicate with others and about themselves.

The realization that some common phrases can influence our inner balance, suggests the simple idea - getting rid of these words and phrases may be helpful. J. Dzhampolski offers every time you use such an expression, to present its written in chalk on a blackboard and erase, to avoid its use in the future. These words, inherent in the diffident man: "I can not, can not, it does not, limit, try, if only, it is difficult, must, must, certainly," etc.

Increase self-esteem - not as tough as it may seem at first glance. The problem of self-doubt - is quite overvalued level of the ideal sought by the milquetoast. The task of a shy man - learning easier and more easily relate to some things, to stop harassing a constant torments and learn to accept and love yourself just the way it is.