Do not play with the feelings of another person
As a child, parents are often repeated to us that "we must speak the truth." Then, growing, as we somehow forget these instructions. Yes, and experience often dictates that sweet lies much more useful bitter truth ... And yet in a situation when you are hopelessly in love with a man, it's time to remember the parental guidance and try to be probity. Honesty in this case would be synonymous with justice.
Understandably, not all girls want to disclose the card directly to claim the man that he is not interested in you and all of his advances are meaningless. Who wants to lose an ardent suitor and a devoted admirer? After all, surely after your refusal, or recognition that you're married, or a request to interrupt courtship all the signs of attention with his hand stopped.
"And if I do not want it to stop, - you ask - Did not I have the right to enjoy the male attention?" Of course you have! And there will be no harm in thanking his fans for the flowers and all kind will show how nice you are courtesies. But it is not necessary to promote human rights and giving him hope that is not going to continue to justify.
I had a friend Svetlana - she does not seem to be very beautiful, but a professional flirt. She flirted a truly masterly - always hovering around her boyfriend. She in turn has encouraged each of them, no one is denying his attention, but not intending to make a choice. "Actually, I have a husband - as she admitted it to me - but the crowd vozdyhateley raise my self-esteem and mood. In general, the more men around the girl, the more attention, so it is valuable to her husband. "
Finale of this story was predictable. Fans of one another to understand that Svetlana is not going to be determined by the choice and generally just having fun, graciously allowing them to care. Thinned the ranks of fans ... and very soon learned about the antics of Svetlana and her legal husband, who for some reason did not become her as a greater appreciation for ... moral is simple: do not play with the feelings of another person . Politely let him know that your heart is busy or you're just not going to build relations with him. Flirting in this case, inhumane, as it gives some hope.
Cruel Intentions
To reject a man in love with you - not an easy task. It is a thin diplomatic mission, which, by the forces do except professional politicians like Condoleezza Rice or Angela Merkel. And yet ... time is necessary, therefore, necessary! Just do not overdo it! Hardness and sharpness of your refusal should not go into the callousness and cruelty. That is, of course, deny - it's cruel, but still not as over the years to keep a man on a leash deep affection, feeding his illusive hopes his flirting, giving him the illusion of a possible joint happiness.
How could build such a complicated and delicate conversation? To begin, select the form. Ideally, of course, say what you think would be more respectful in private conversation with an eye for an eye, which will take place on neutral territory. But for most girls this difficult ordeal. Where to find the right words? How to explain intelligibly, but not hurt? How to look into the eyes of man? If all this worries you, and the upcoming conversation seems hard labor, we can restrict the phone conversation. Not very polite, but better than nothing. At least you can make yourself a cheat sheet with the pre-harvested speech and pry into it, much like. And in your eyes will not have to look at.
Another option: write an e-mail. Heartfelt, thorough and detailed. You can honestly write that hard for you to talk about such things out loud that you are very awkward to refuse such a nice guy, but ... By the way, about any "buts". When writing and talking about the reasons why you can not be together, be very careful to obsessive admirer not far-fetched to be addressed. For example, my girlfriend as it rejected the chubby good-natured programmer, said: "You're so cool, but not quite to my taste! I love pitching and nothing I can do about it, sorry. "
The programmer took her words as a guide to action. At first he did liposuction, then went to swing at the gym. Imagine his surprise when his lover did not appreciate his efforts and did not think to reconsider their attitude toward him. "But I'm pumped! I also drastically changed, as you told! "-" I actually happened to you just bored and not want to tell you not to offend, but you are too abstruse for me, "- said fastidious beauty. Positive moment in this story was only one: the programmer is now an order of magnitude better look, but because of his personal life soon zaburlila.
And yet, if you do not want confusion and trouble, you'd better tell the truth or a polite "pravdozamenitel" if the truth is too coarse. For example, instead: "I can not meet with you - you are too stupid (primitive, ugly)" better to say: "It's not about you: you are a wonderful person, I am just not ready for a serious relationship (in love with each other and t . etc.).
Another thing that should not commit to not be too harsh: no need for his eyes to pretend that you love another. Purposely flirt with someone in front of the rejected suitor is like beating lying down.
Pandering battle
Another popular female trick that helps get rid of an obsessive fan - it is to slip him his cute girlfriend. Let them switch with me on it. A common trick - to slip him his lonely girlfriend, let switch their passion and courting her. In fact, man is not so primitive and can not by their own free will (and even with your active support) to switch the mode of being in love with a girl on the mode of being in love with another.
Trying to "distract" him from himself, his pretty girlfriend podsunuv you of injuries three of you. You despise a man who is defiantly "sbagrivaesh" how boring or inappropriate pair of shoes. You despise her friend, slipping it "their leftovers, though it is the second grade or something like that. Incidentally, in this situation, your friend and really can feel like second grade, especially if your former beau has not paid her special attention.
Sometimes these circumstances give the most unexpected results: for example, he may even stronger stock up on you, with all the power and passion notorious masochist, which only your fans a cruelty. You hardly need it. And your girlfriend is likely to hurt his coldness. However, if your girlfriend is really uneven breathing to your fans a chance to win his heart she has, and quite good. First of all, she already knows his ideal, and is fully aware of the fact that she loves this man. Second, he was already in love, and so all she has left - is to switch its feelings to itself. The main thing with this - the advice of psychologists, not dubious ideas drawn from the series.
