As you already, I think it has become clear, we are all somehow play a role: the same woman has to be a mother, a wife, mistress, the worker (student, graduate student, intern, technician), then girlfriend, then daughter ... Of course, all this "role strain" we are currently at the same time, but often we successively remove and put on a mask. At work, we businesslike, collected and concentrated, as there is expected of us just that. But at home we are turning into a gay and cheerful wives and mothers caring, conscientious and bright mistresses. That night in bed we passionate and tender lovers. Imagine how it would be funny if we did not change the mask according to the situation? Then would not life but sheer misunderstanding: in bed with her beloved, we would have shone the professional qualities and the work would just radiate passion and sexuality! .. So, as you can see, there is an advantage that we humans are constantly playing different roles.

Roughly the same thing happens in family relationships. Imagine the scene, which is performance. It's everyday scenes from the life of a family: that's my husband, that his wife, immediately in-law, children and other relatives. Every actor has a problem - they all go on stage and move in a given scenario, the direction of all actors is a text. The performance is well established, so the actors do not stray, do not forget the words and not confuse staging. Everything is going smoothly, evenly and without stammering. Imagine this picture? Well. Now think what would happen if one of the actors suddenly take and forget your own text? ..

A will is this: If an artist is not enough, or experienced life only play this one show, then by surprise can and does stand posts and stop the play in the middle. Thus, if an actor forgets his words, then mixed and confused, and all the rest, and play will be disrupted. However, if the actors are experienced and talented, then, instead of silence and stood idle, they start to improvise, think out monologues and dialogues on the fly, write new staging, in general, will not allow the play to interrupt ... but full of improvisation actors, the show will not be the same, it will be quite different! It is not known, better or worse - just different, that's all.

All of our lives .. performance ...

Why am I telling you all this? The fact that our relationship with people (both close and not very) strongly remind me of this same performance: it can life go on the thumb groove, but may at any time to turn in another direction or even stop. Very clearly this similarity can be traced to family quarrels and conflicts: if you watch them and her family for a while, then was surprised to discover that there is always cursing and mirites on the same circuit. In all conflicts, each family member will certainly play the same role, as long as no wish to leave the game, or decides to radically change the status quo. Incidentally, this is a very important point - I urge you to pay attention to the fact that you have always a chance to turn the situation one hundred and eighty degrees, and emerge unscathed.

But the move from theory to practice. Take the familiar situation: A close friend constantly tells you some nasty stuff, and you every day upset, take this criticism to heart and even kompleksuete, nervous and crying in the night ... Assume that as a "well-wisher" stands your husband, who (like a drop, which wears away the stone!) Keeps repeating you, you is not the same, what were you strongly recovered and older, that you have in your hair has become much gray hair, pale skin and all in the same spirit (well, I tell you, you and you know what words can hurt a woman most of all!). And since this story is repeated with enviable regularity, we can assume that this is not an impulsive man (that is, not that he suddenly decided to give you everything), no - it "tells you the truth in the eye" with a purpose, quite deliberately so that this scene - this is just our play and eat. And the role in it all have long painted, well known and thoroughly learned: you are perfectly played the role of victim, your husband - "lover of truth," the critic. There may be extras (other family members) who are watching from the sidelines and not intervene. And always, this play goes wrong, as was once the Chief: critic of the cuts the truth-womb, the victim dutifully listens to the cruel words and cries, suffers, suffers ... Critic pleased humiliated the victim, the curtain falls! Do you like the show like?

I sincerely hope not. You see, the role of passive and silent victims can not be called honorable. On the one hand, of course, you can feel sorry, because you - the offended party that you are suffering, but on the other hand, if you silently endure all the allegations against him, it means that you agree with them! You give your criticisms a great joy: you let him hurt you, say horrible things to your address, and not only acknowledge that he was right, you do not mind him and uphold their right to be such that what you are! No, the victim's role is not for me, it's destiny forever unfortunate women ... Well, if you want to live all your life with lowered head and drooping shoulders, then for God's sake, continue to bear the cross. But I suggest you learn to be happy, and for this you need to break the prolonged spectacle or completely redo the script for yourself.

If you are ready to act, then it should be done immediately, right now! Once finish reading what I tell you, and you'll understand what I'm up to you with such insistence themselves, - immediately take the bull by the horns and go into battle! Passive expectation Nobody has helped. For their happiness, their peace of mind to fight, thank God, the fight does not necessarily end with someone else's defeat is enough to be your victory. If your loved ones to truly love you, they will not oppose the changes that you make to the script, but if your new role will have them not to taste, then, frankly, that's their problem! Let them do whatever they want, above all - never let them ruin your life! So, for a cause dear women!