Do not need much intelligence to conclude that a bad peace is better than a good quarrel, it is better to cooperate than to compete and fight, that nobody is better than losing. However, all the reasonable arguments of our brain folds in front of their majesty, called emotions. Emotions - the main enemy of reasonableness " Suppose I had lost a hundred, but it heated up to five hundred. This idea can warm and soothe your own soul, which has not yet emerged from their children's condition. There is a parable on the subject. One person after death got to heaven. He was asked where he would go: in heaven or hell? He wanted to see how they differ. He was taken to hell. There was a large pot of food, and around the boiler were very long spoon.

They could take food out of the boiler, but could not put it in his mouth because of long spoons. And around the boiler were thin emaciated people. Then he was taken to heaven. There was the same: the boiler, long spoons, but the people were well fed, happy and contented. What's the matter, asked the newcomer? A case was that in hell everyone was trying to feed themselves, but in paradise the people were fed each other. Morality is the same - much more useful cooperation to combat and confrontation. A person with such facilities invariably admirable. Power of Imagination helps manage emotions.

I read as a statement of the father of President John F. Kennedy: "If you talk to some important person, imagine what it long red pants. I run a business that way. " I also imagined a customer in the yellow polka-dot underwear family. And it was somehow calm. I am no longer afraid of him. All living people do not like losses and troubles. The motto of the diplomats: "The strength in the negotiations - of indifference." The more we allow ourselves to depend on their outcome, the fact becomes weaker. So that the yellow polka-dot panties to her knees will make you more confident as a partner to become a mere mortal.

You can imagine their partner as an important person, sitting on the pot, and your anger, fear or resentment will melt away like smoke. People who you admire, do just that, to cope with bad feelings. Force in any negotiation is not about money or relationships, and independence. Who is stronger in the negotiations? Anyone who cold-blooded, or those who poorly manage their fears, annoyance, vulnerability and other emotions? Negotiations - is not just the clash of interests, positions, arguments, and field clash of personalities.

What is the force of personality negotiators? Old stereotypes are enclosed in the illusion that the force is determined by physical, monetary, status, power strength. The new stereotype in the other. Force in the independence and coolness! People who can maintain one's composure in the most serious negotiations and conflicts seem to be supermen and cause genuine admiration. Faced with a real threat to people not think about the admiration of others, they are simply afraid. But the people who admire, are capable of unexpected actions, such as an apology.

Is it difficult for you to apologize? If you believe that you - a man so sinless and perfect, it certainly is difficult. Or another option, you are very vulnerable. Then the apology just added a sense of inferiority. In fact, an apology - a reliable indicator of maturity of mind and common sense. Apologize, and easily and with dignity, can only be strong and mature personality. And what is the benefit of this simple nod to the rightness of a partner! The word "sorry" makes just a magical experience. It adds us to respect your opponent, relieves accumulated tension and acts as a gentle breeze, cooling the hotheads. Partner to pass easily from accusations to the case. So pathological aversion to apology leave "psychological adolescents. And another side of communication - a "thank you". Is easy, highly valued, underutilized.