Fears that prevent you love
All at least once in your life have experienced separation from a loved one. When the world around is crumbling, and it seems that more will never be love and happiness. The hardest part after the break once again allow the heart .. love .. We are overwhelmed by fears and doubts. Will we once again here and so carelessly throw himself into the maelstrom of passion and vivid experiences.
What are we afraid of? Why are we obsessed with doubts? Perhaps after a failed relationship, each afraid to be disappointed again, afraid of being cheated, afraid of suffering. So when comes a new love, we call it as you wish - friendship, affection, flirting, just to not say aloud what happens to us in reality. Easier for us to deceive ourselves than admit that we are once again a captive of the inexplicable and very strong feelings on the Planet.
Sometimes we are afraid to become dependent and lose control. After parting time passes and we get used to live a quiet measured life, where everything is and sort through where we are very comfortable and we are so afraid to upset this balance. But if you live on a schedule then there will be no passion or ardor, no surprises and romance. Do you like routine and monotony?
Maybe you just lost the confidence of the opposite sex? Having lived through deceit once woman to fear that the partner will be to manipulate them, use them, and eventually give up. Often before to let him into your heart, women suit him all sorts of tests and test of loyalty and decency. Do not forget, in this case, that such conduct can offend a man who really loves you. Does love need to be approved?
Some of us are so fixated on personal freedom, to recognize the love is for them equivalent to the fact that they will give themselves into slavery. They will be the slave of a loved one. This is the most common misconception, because when you love you give as much as you can give and take as much as you can take no more, no less. If you are forced to sacrifice everything, then what is love?
Love does not require sacrifices, love partners interact, and each of them not only recover, but also gives away. In order not to lose their freedom, many persuaded themselves that they are self-sufficient, and in their lives have no place these feelings, they so well. Especially the fear of losing their freedom men, so prefer light or non-committal attitude - for serious and deep.
Our fears are related to our personal experiences and those of our parents. Usually in affluent families where the parents live for many years together, the children created a favorable opinion of family and marriage in particular. They have less fears of a serious relationship, rather than the children who survived the divorce of parents and brought up in single-parent families, and children of parents whose marriage has failed and children have witnessed the constant accusations, scandals and betrayals.
Typically, these children, when grow up or give yourself a promise that will not repeat the fate of their parents and with the special kind to love and a family home. Or are they so afraid to strike up a serious relationship and marry, or marry, that when that moment comes, they will literally throw their partner, almost on the verge of registrar.
We have "overgrown" fears so much that even afraid to love, it is easier to work out some kind of a cunning strategy to avoid a serious relationship. This makes it easier, safer way, so will not hurt ... But who said that it is easier then you? In love, just does not happen, but that all difficulties are justified, surely you can consciously trying to distance itself from the love and continue to live in solitude?
We are constantly deceiving ourselves, we are trading with the fate of begging version better, richer, prettier ... thereby justifying its reluctance to create a pair. One such self-deception - waiting for the "prince on a white horse." We invent itself ideal and then stubbornly itself assure that all those people we meet, do not correspond to our idea of the perfect partner. I'm not lonely because I am unhealthy, so unbearable, I'm afraid of responsibility and do not want to working on relationships, but because I simply have not met her "prince". You yourself believe it?
The following self-deception - infantilism. Very simply always behave like a naughty little kid. To require the partner to be you and nurse and nurse and constantly pay attention only to your problems. And then when your behavior, you ultimately alienate partner - are you sure that you are simply not met your man - it was not your destiny.
Another tactical move that destroys any relationship and justifies you in their own eyes - doubt. You always have doubts about the partner in the future, his feelings, etc. Checks, jealousy, scandals, after all, are doing their work and relationships barely started, fail.
We cling to past relationships, do not want to change for the sake of new feelings, because we must love, or for what we have or do not have any relations. My God, how hard is love! " Many reservations and nuances arise in the way of this wonderful feeling! And now think that you've come to the question of partnership, marriage, family? Perhaps, you are programming yourself to loneliness?
You are satisfied with the relationships that you have? I think not. So we must try to overcome all their fears. It is impossible to love and looking back, it is impossible to love on the floor of force, it is impossible to love and trust. What could be better than love? Love - a force that brings us together with our neighbors, destroys any wall of misunderstanding, it is love that helps us overcome feelings of loneliness and isolation. Open your heart to this wonderful feeling and do not be afraid!
