How and what to praise a child?
All we want to be noticed and praised. What does a child who reaches you just made a picture and asks: "Beautiful?" Maybe he feels insecure or has low self-esteem, or he wants to make contact, or seeking validation of their actions, or ... maybe, just say: "Well done, nice? So often we are doing. So often do, and not worth it. How and what to praise a child? Thus, the child shows the picture you just painted.
You (looking with sincere interest, with approval in his voice): "You have drawn here from the big house ... the pipe is thick smoke ... and the bottom I see something blue, there is still an empty space ..." When the products of the child are met such bezotsenochny reception when shown the attention to detail, the child usually forgets the original question and becomes aware of his actions. Can be heard as a child picks up the words of an adult, is included in the conversation and commented on the picture: "Here I have three windows - one mother, the second pope, and this - for me and Tuzik. And here I have a river. There will be a machine, I have not had time to paint, draw now ... "
Think about these words, feel like changing the child's condition. If in the beginning was the dependence of the word adult, in the course of conversation the child not only has the desired endorsement, but he felt an informal commitment, confirmed in his achievements, including the fellowship, he saw the prospect of their actions. Now the child is free and he appreciates their work. It seemed to you, as always, too long? Sometimes use a short phrase: "It is not something I think a nice, but what you yourself think of your figure." "It's important that you think yourself."
Another example:
-Look at what I do.
"You're playing with clay.
-What do I do?
"You can do anything you want.
-Okay, I'll make birdie.
"You decided to make a birdie.
Painstakingly sculpts, finally raises his hand fashioned with a bird.
-You like it?
"You tried very hard.
Ultimately, it is important that we think we are.
Should I help my child?
Small, helpless - as he did not help. Dress, shoes, are leading a hand, suggests a word, say and think of it ... was indignant: a non-self! Alarming: learn it? As a result, reinsured and deprives the child opportunities to exercise their competencies and acquire expertise. At that the child has the right, that is, that in his jurisdiction: to establish relationships and communicate with different people, to express their opinions, thoughts and feelings, initiate and carry out joint actions to try and make mistakes, do things their own way, rather than on the model, and more another.
Before deciding when and how to help your child, you should watch - and whether you want to help? Think about what caused the desire to help: need a child or an adult desire to accelerate developments (faster wear), to give the game back on track (in fact, switch), to hear the desired response, expected to see action (make him). Should help when the child asks for help. And now - like. First ask: What do you want to do what you have not, how would you like to do it if he could himself. What kind of help you need, how can I help you, who can help, to whom would you turn for help?
This way you can help your child understand the difficulty and decorate it with words.
After the difficulty will be indicated, it is possible to correctly identify what help is needed - help, support, approval, validation action, the show, etc. If the child will be able to act consciously and independently, it will acquire its own unique experience.
Thus we will contribute to the development of its competence and autonomy.
