How to avoid common mistakes in choosing a partner
You started dating a man. By what signs to determine whether it can be a suitable husband for you? How to avoid common mistakes in choosing a partner? " How do I know he loves you? Spend with discreet "interview" about the role of the husband, before most appear in the role of wife. This interview should be part of your normal conversations. Start it as soon as possible! Sure, your meeting - not interrogation, but it is better to use the time wisely to determine what it represents in fact.
Use of your conversations
By choosing a man who you like, prompting him to further conversation. Let his own words will help him fall in love with you (more on the art of this conversation we will discuss later). When you reach a certain skill in conducting such interviews, your partner may not feel that he was "questioned", but even if he understands, will still continue to talk about themselves. Men love to talk about himself.
To you will strive to many men, if they understand that you are a good listener. Methods of conducting such an interview to help you learn the advantages and disadvantages of men. Any man with a great desire to tell you about the advantages, less willing - on the shortcomings, but a little patience and perseverance, and you'll learn about everything. Then, make a preliminary selection, continue to listen carefully to give the information necessary for effective praise and criticism in order to win his love, to earn respect and show him that you are for him - the most suitable pair.
What should I know about it
During the "interview" you will learn a lot about a man and you'll see how he appreciates what his personality as he is treated the people around the extent to which he accepts the praise and criticism, as proud of his achievements. Know it is necessary and you should understand what he wants, and to compare with their wishes. Determine how he evaluates in terms of their attractiveness to women. This self-assessment could not greatly change with the teenage years. If it is rejected or he did not enjoy success with the girls during their studies, then perhaps he lacks the confidence to assert themselves in relationships with women he finds attractive.
Learn all his qualities, including the attitude towards life and women. From his youth understood the memories of his attitude to sex, money, religion, family life, his profession. Determine what area he expects to succeed, to make up once experienced a feeling of inferiority or loss. Find out to what extent he is able to accept criticism: how it forces him to fight and achieve success, often do have to praise him for the feeling of complete peace of mind and what dose of praise will make him doubt their sincerity.
Listen attentively to his stories, to determine its credibility and decide whether he really deserves it. First and foremost it is good to know about his likes and dislikes and to understand their cause.
Screening
In your "interview" can distinguish three degrees of screening, each of which is absolutely necessary.
1. Determine whether there is a man "highlight". Is he worth more than ten-minute conversation. If not, immediately Break the them.
2. Determine whether its life assessment and goals with yours. Could you live with him for a long time? If not, do not waste time as you would not want to think about it differently.
3. Determine whether its attitude to people with your expectations and requirements. Is it your emotional needs?
Life values and goals
Immediately understood the value of his life and goals to be sure whether he'll pair. First, to answer the proposed questions themselves and find their own values and goals. Spend time writing down their answers to compare them with the results. Such a comparison will show your compatibility with each other in the most important. Your answers to the questions are not necessarily the same, but they should be comparable. If he wants to have two children, and you four, you can find a compromise. But would not consent, if one of you does not want to have children at all, and the other wants. You must have a complete similarity of views on vital issues and at least in general terms on a minor.
Money, money ...
Man's attitude to money - one of the most important components of marriage, because money affects every aspect of life. If you and your husband have different attitudes to money, then you expect troubled marriage.
Listen carefully to what the man says, when it comes to earnings, expenditures, savings and financial obligations. Most likely, he will expect from you such as money management. In order that the relationship will be successful, the basic idea of the money you need to match. To learn more about financial attitudes of men, focus on the following five questions.
Sexuality
Sex - an important aspect of marriage. Sex - it's a necessity. If male sexuality is above yours, he probably will be doing much for you to earn the opportunity once again to lie in bed and have fun. If your needs are higher, sadly, will have the most to offer sacrifices to have what you want.
Ideally you should have the same sexuality, but in life there are no absolute harmony. Those for whom sex is less important, usually becomes master of the situation, while the other is to limit yourself.
Likes and dislikes
Addiction - is not just a goal. This goal can not be ignored, to solve the compromise means. Sometimes a woman knows her addiction, because many of them thought. But often, she knows some of them only subconsciously. To start, you need to understand that the important thing for you. If your main goal and miss, better look for a another. If you will be an obstacle to the men to their goal, or he will do it for you, then your marriage will be doomed from the start. Do not forget about their own preferences. If your views on money and sex are similar, and overall priorities, then congratulations on a godsend!
Energy
Vitality of both spouses should be roughly equal. Otherwise, the more energetic can eventually find another rag, and the less energetic to take the first over-active. The energy in question - a force that characterizes the physical activity other than sex: from washing dishes and ending with the football. Different energy levels create problems when one spouse wants to go to a party, swim, jog, or go on a long journey, while others prefer to take a nap for an hour or two. Energetic people tend to expect the participation of the other spouse in their classes, and if he refuses because of the lower stamina, he may consider it an insult. If this continues, then serious problems between the spouses, including the feeling of hopelessness, anger, alienation are inevitable!
What wife does he want?
A man marries for several reasons, especially in order to have a good life partner, sexual partner and mother of his children. However, what makes a woman a "good" or "suitable" are completely different in terms of different men. If you are interested in this man, then examine the criteria by which he governed. A good companion for him may be, for example, the hostess, preparing delicious meals, an avid tourist or business woman. Find out exactly what he wants.
You may wonder, but what a man needs from his wife with his words and in fact, often do not coincide. Upon learning of his true desires and inclinations, you arm yourself as follows. If possible, avoid platitudes. Anything that does not affect your or his life, is regarded as commonplace. Even if what he says true or obvious absurdity, it is also valuable information for you. Exaggerations and lies give his true passions and aspirations. These are important clues to his priorities in life.
