How to cope with the crisis of 30 years
But not so long ago you were read Dontsova, she tried to write funny and cute knit scarves, bred favorite royal guppies. Unfortunately, you did not even remember when you are doing that last time. Instead favorite cases, you spend days doing someone else's work, not seeing any output, or vacations. This is akin to enlightenment. Midst of the usual routine you stop and say to yourself: "What am I doing here? And who are these people?
30-year-old Marina found herself at such a thought, being on duty at the city hospital. After hearing the third hour of the night another complaint elderly patient, and finally put her to bed, Marina suddenly thought: "Is this what I dreamed as a child? When I wanted to work on television, but succumbed to skepticism native, chose the more trivial profession nurses. I have no husband, and the sprightly and beautiful little girls I have over the years turned into a grouch old maid with uninteresting work. But I do not want this! How do I get back to itself? "
It happens the other way. That's what 29-year-old told Alexander: "I was sitting in a chic living room, on a leather couch, threw the body of a luxurious silk robe in my hand was a glass of champagne, but on a huge television screen was another stupid episode. From the outside it all looked like enjoying life stupefied from lack of housewives, who once dreamed of becoming a successful scientist, and by marrying a successful businessman who became a "decoration" of his country villa, reminding myself the bird in a golden cage. And then I realized that it was time to change the circumstances. "
Psychologists say that three-quarters of women surveyed after 25 years, subject to such crises. The reason for their appearance is considered a conflict between the inner and outer world women: between what she does every day and be what she really wanted to do. Here and start depression, frustration, the reason that a woman seeking to hormonal changes and general fatigue of the body. One day, comes the understanding that it's time to change all this. But how? Try to understand.
When it starts.
Female identity crises beset the ladies in the interval from 30 to 40 years. In this period of life a girl student has become the head of the department, or at worst a leading expert and windy time of his youth replaced by the maternal and marital duties. For the sake of all of this have to sacrifice your favorite classes, because to you more and more of the requirements and at work and at home. Well even if in this whole routine of life there is even a small vent. But when work and family to you purely consumer attitudes, and to place itself in a life left, he comes to the crisis. What is the recipe for overcoming it? Someone will replace the daily routine, and someone changes the whole life. Generic drugs do not exist. Time for myself.
Successful manager of advertising agency, after giving birth to a row of two great kids, and not getting any kind of help from her terribly busy man, looking at himself, popolnevshuyu to 15 kilograms in the bathroom mirror, in the same bathroom and cried beluga from fatigue and worry, descended upon her female shoulders. Her name was Mary. And there was her sister Natasha, who after the first hour visit to his sister, said: "Masha with a time for you to do something, and then you're already on itself is not like!". Finally mustered the courage to Mary that evening, talking with husband about the possibility of hiring once every two days for a few hours of babysitting, during which the arrival of Maria will be able to go to the gym. Although the material point of view at that time it was not an easy decision. After some time, Mary has been able to say of himself: "I felt like going back to his former. Although now I have to be a new for themselves as mothers. The belief that when children grow up, I can go back to your favorite job gave me vitality. And the depression was over. "
Remember: no matter what changes would not expect you on your path of life, always leave just a little time for yourself. Forward! For impressions. With strong internal devastation is just a hobby is unlikely to be an effective remedy. There needs therapy more feasible than macramé or crochet. Not all of us are ready to make radical steps forward to change, but those who dare to them, reaping the fruits of worldly happiness
27-year-old journalist Elena, successfully making a career in one of metropolitan business journals over time realized that delivers so much pleasure to her earlier work, no longer brings her nothing like that. This work was catching only one bored, and summaries and quotations, which I had to write hip. Thoughts of moving to another edition of just catching up on nostalgia. In thinking about the situation Elena caught myself thinking that always wanted to travel. Withdrawing from the publishing house, she persuaded her close friend to go for a month with her in India, where touching a different culture and outlook, she felt like a different person, and according to her, came home a completely different person. This trip profoundly changed her life. Elena became a party to the Editorial Board of the travel and at the moment, without losing the skills, traveling the world, writes essays and articles about the uncharted corners of the world. That is, combining a favorite occupation with the things you love.
If the problem of "personal" roots.
Often fall into the trap of crisis ladies are not only professionally unfulfilled. Dramatic role in the development of the manifestations of the crisis is the lack of understanding and loving partner. And if you lonely ladies always have a choice, then a married woman, but still burdened with children is not easy to escape from the trap of stereotyping.
Here is what the reception from his 37 year old psychologist Albina: "On the side is quite all right. The successful work as an accountant in a large firm, houses two younger sons. There is no happiness. Upon returning home, I did not want anyone to see. With her husband is no relationship, only domestic. In addition to everything began to cling sores. After Albin told my husband about his desire to live separately for a while, she had to hire a separate housing and visit regularly with her husband's eldest son (the younger lived all this difficult time with her in a rented apartment). Two months later, Albin realized that her life began to improve. Gone anguish, I wanted to wake up in the morning. A month later Albion took to his apartment, his eldest son, and a year later she met her new husband, from whom she is expecting a baby. And she is happy, happy, also because that time realized that the life of an unloved man (though he and the father of your children) will not make you happy.
Let us imagine your ideal life.
Imagine when and with whom you'd like to spend time. Present in all its glory is the house in which you want to live, or that man who will master in this house. Make a list on paper with the headline "My perfect day." Prove it by hours and minutes of their daily routine, with a plus sign. No matter the past of your day will be, or do you invent it yourself completely. You can make a similar list of "my perfect day off." Turn to the analysis of those records. Even if many records you will not seem far from realization in life do not rush to conclusions.
As you know, great, start small, and changes are made up of trifles. For example, what prevents you to breakfast with eggs and bacon in your "perfect morning? Or sleep like a princess on a new silk lingerie? Any goal can be realized, if only pragmatic approach to this. For example, you dream for several years on a trip to the Maldives. So outgoing calls from travel agencies and methodically to save money. By little, small steps you will be selected for its ideal day, and someday you'll understand that he has arrived! No one will make you happy except you most! Memorize those things that give you positive emotions and beware of anything that might depress you. Analyze This. Let yourself do what you want, even if at first glance, this seems a luxury. Look for yourself, and you'll find! Be happy.

And finally, one little mental exercise. Write on a paper list of your 5 favorite children's affairs. Mark in his table an hour to engage in at number 1 if you want from it as well, type it into the tradition. If you do not get a buzz from it, take a case number 2. Empirically will you choose something for the soul.