Of course, the opinions of others for each of us is very important that whatever we say about this. Someone listens to the words chosen people, the so-called authorities, someone pays attention to leer passer for someone very important - point of view of loved ones. How to respond to public opinion? " I think that respond to the opinions of others is, but not quite the way we used to. It is worth asking yourself the following questions.

- Why, I met a man who taught me how to live?

- Why his words so much annoy me?

- What benefits can I draw from this information?

- Why I was given this situation?

Thus you can learn a lot about myself, because the people we encounter in life, reflect our advantages and disadvantages. If you have ugly mood, then the chances of running into a scandal (not necessarily triggered by you). If You are the light and warmth of joy, it is likely to be around to wish you health and happiness, stressing how great you look today. Should pay particular attention to recurring situations. They can only mean one thing: the surrounding hard point you to your disadvantage, and you are in any did not want him to notice.

A few days ago we were on a walk-fed pigeons. Alinka showered them food, but not forgotten, and drive. In response to my exhortations, they say, let the birds eat it happily continued to run on. Soon the man approached the boy, they brought seeds and also began to feed the pigeons. Alinka, ran for their seeds. Then the man several times said testily: "Do not!" - And then turned to me: "And my mother something to look?" I began to defend that, well, I explained to her daughter, but not chain me to her own arrest if it is still unclear.

Generally, I'm lost in any situation, I do not know what to say, but the right words are after, when I start to head scroll experiences. So here: as soon as the man and the boy left, I was swept over a wave of emotion. First, the resentment of her daughter, and secondly, the shame of myself that did not protect her. Third, the outrage that this man took me to bring up, though I see him in the first and last time!

That day I tried to analyze what happened. People are "mirror" of us, they reflect what is in us, and we like them that do not like about yourself. Yeah, everything here is simple: if this guy took me to raise, then he reflected to me my desire to remake someone. That is why I reacted so emotionally to this situation. Go ahead: Who can I want to remake? It is obvious that her husband, because now I talk with him the most. This is often a desire to get his attention (now less), and our constant clashes over his tardiness, and much more that was discovered in the five years of our acquaintance, and I do not really like it. Well, to me his experience was given to understand that if my husband feels the educational manipulations. I will learn to accept it for what it is, without any attempt to alter it.

Olga

At one time I answered this letter and asked several questions to Olga. I suggest you get acquainted with them, because the situation can be called a classic, but see it from the stands. Olga, do you really think your daughter hurt? Then ask her about it. Imagine yourself in her place. What does she think about the comments of this man? Do you think that her head comes to bother about this? Probably not. It's only your problem: what about me people will think? And shame to you for some kind of abstract training, which you supposedly have to give a child.

Try to imagine how I would behave if he addressed to the above-described friend something he said. Probably would have smiled. And, perhaps, added that look like my beloved daughter runs around and gets pleasure from it. After all, in fact no crime was not. Well, skimmed it for seeds. That pigeons after seeds pobrezguyut? I doubt it. And in place of the men could offer the child to feed the pigeons together. But this is an ideal situation.

- Kate, could you give some advice as to this very opinion become independent? As I understand it, not one I care.

Indeed, Olga was not alone in their fears, resentment, feelings of guilt towards others. Let us formulate some recommendations on how to deal with people, so you do not have a wild sense of discomfort from what you said is not something wrong and the wrong time.

Principles of interaction with the surrounding

1. Your sudden reaction

Think what you can expect from the forward (aggressively reacting to your words, deeds) people. As a rule, that you will make excuses to defend himself. If your reaction would not meet his expectations, he will be in some disarray. You can smile, laugh, to confirm his words, saying to himself, something funny. This knocks out of the rut.

2. Phrases in store

Work especially well for people with not very fast response. While people think the answer is, the situation had exhausted itself. What it may be a phrase? Positive or unimportant, which can be attributed to almost any situation. The answer to these phrases must be yes or confirmation, approval. They knock your opponent out of an aggressive track.

- What is the weather is nice, right?

- The Truth ...

- You have such a cute baby!

- Thank you ...

- You as a person, this sweater!

- Thank you ...

3. Time thinking about you

What do you think, how long will remember about this situation that man? How much? Hour or two, a minute? Maybe for a few seconds? And maybe, just forget it? So is it worth while to think about how you will look in the eyes of this man? Try after each such conflict to ask yourself the following questions.

- He (she) still remember me?

- Whether he (she) now about what happened between us?

- Remember I had about what happened, if it was on his (her) place? And other people?

4. Logic instead of fear

One can understand that you have erupted emotions, fears, resentments, but try to include their logical thinking, not letting fear get the better of reason. Only it must be done as soon as the situation has occurred. Imagine a button on his body, which will push every time you need to analyze the situation. And start asking yourself questions, and bottle up their own shortcomings and options for a favorable turn of events.

Of course, all these methods are just a minute meeting: public transportation, walking with a child with neighbors and so on. Any situation can be turned to the benefit of themselves and even have fun. Where will the joy? Take a look: you smiled - smiled at you. The conflict moved into a joke, and every mood. Pure pleasure!

They are also afraid of you, as you have them

Did you notice that others are afraid spitting into the soul of not less than you? Did not notice? Thought it was just you go with a closed visor? So goes the majority. Do not believe me? Watch for people: colleagues, passers-by, neighbors. What do they want from life? Than to fill their days? How do you feel about what they think? How much in their heads and positive thoughts of peace, and how many - of negative emotions and bustle? Where does the negative? It grows out of fear of attack! Understand why people go to live and even relax with cloudy persons? They always keep the defense, and the constant readiness for action, requires a tremendous strain. Do you also want to live like that or you got bored? How do you think will happen if you slowly will remove the protection? What can be put in place defensive barriers? What is stronger than any locks and fences? You think about it. And I mention yet that's what.

Tell me where you would like to send huge amounts of energy if they knew that it suddenly turns out to be at your disposal? Name at least some directions. Say, would deal with health, would have gone on a trip, fell in love. Now imagine that this power you have, but she goes out to defend themselves from others. I do not propose to "remove the defenses" as soon as you read these words, and it is unlikely you'll get. But to act slowly, watching as changing your life is worth it. Start with a smile. Once a day, twice, five or ten. And watch out for people who smile. They begin to attack you or, conversely, smiling in response? This is a test for your "walls". Maybe for someone from around your smile will be the salvation. Maybe even a few years later the man will say: the woman's smile changed my life. I was able to look at life through different eyes!

Would you like to do it right now?