How to start a perfect relationship? Of course, we can say that with love. Of course, I agree with you! With an understanding. And here I can not speak out against. And now ask you a leading question: how to build relationships with love and understanding? How to do this in daily life, from which a start? What is love and that such an understanding? First, it is useful to do - is make a wish list of what they are - an ideal relationship with the child . And not just I want to love him with all my heart!, And a complete list of updates (how to love, to what extent, at what time of day and night). Of course I'm exaggerating, but I do it because really want to bring you an important message: our wishes have come true the property is in the form in which we have formulated them. So to speak, in every detail. Well, to begin compiling a list? Note that this may prove difficult, despite its apparent simplicity. Why is it difficult?

- Because this job makes you think. Do not use the generally accepted ideas, templates, and invent their own desires, reconstructed with conventional thinking in the chaotic analytic.

- Because most of us never thought about what they really want. from himself, from a child of next of kin. In everyday life we often do not express what we want and what I would not want - their concerns, fears, grievances.

Why do I need a list?

Not so fundamentally, that you want to attract into your life - an ideal relationship with their friends, a new car or a paying job. It is important that you know exactly what you want. If a car, what brand, what characteristics, what are your needs it will satisfy. If you work, how much the schedule, what relationships in the team, distance from home, etc.. If the relationship is, in what situations and how they will develop what you want from the people with whom these relations will be created.

A list (preferably in writing), we have:

- Put a kind of filter on the necessary and unnecessary to us the quality that helps to articulate the requirements for life values;

- Instead of trying to achieve "unclear what, start a clear act according to certain goals;

- Recognize that our life is in our hands and we can manage it.

Reaching a similar list of priorities, you're already targeting your consciousness to action in the right direction. When a person with enthusiasm begins to implement its plan and is starting to get the results he wants to continue. The work, which at first seemed difficult, is becoming an interesting and exciting as a game in which you want to win. Do you know who comes to winning? Those who are familiar with the rules of the game and learned to manage it.

How do you list?

1. We use only positive language

For example:

- I want to trust your child.

- I want my complaints and grievances can be voiced, listened without reproach and insults on his part.

(Wish that starts with I do not want wrong!)

2. Speak on his behalf

If so, we formulate their own desires, then write to the first person: I want my child to listen to what I say to him.

3. In the desire to present the word I want

4. Each item is given in one sentence

The shorter worded item, the easier then working with him.

5. Avoiding the comparative characteristics of

"Bigger, better, nicer, kinder, and so on. be appropriate. Why? Because just want to ask: more - how much? Better - it's like? Prettier and kinder - to what extent? Can you answer these questions? How often you want to kiss and hug your child? How many times a day, week, month? If you can answer this question, then feel free to write numerals.

6. The desire to be specific

For example: I want my child to listen to me when I turned to him. (Compare with the more general wording: I want to be considerate man he grew up.) As attention is manifested in a particular situation? How would you like to see it manifest itself? Answer this question, and you'll see, what is your specific desire.

Tip number 1. To simplify the task suggest that you "feel their desire." For example:

- Can you "feel" close-knit family relationships? (What's your subconscious mind will choose as a "decency"? Order? Compassion? Respect to you?)

- Can you "feel" happy family? (Do you understand the concept of "happy family"? When people smile at each other every day? "When they spend much time together?" When the husband earns well? "When kids hear you?)

Tip number 2. When making a list of calls you have trouble, start by contradiction. Write the first thing you do not want, and then simply reformulates each item so that it contained a positive statement. For example:

- I do not want my child to naughty every time I refuse to fulfill his wish. What do I want? I want my child to calmly reacted to my failure to fulfill his wish.

- I do not want him to sleep only in my presence. He is a grown boy! What do I want? I want him to fall asleep independently and safely react to what I'm going out of his room.

Tip number 3. Try to formulate your desires as fully as possible. Do not deny yourself the pleasure to enjoy the way the ideal relationship with your child. And let these items in the list will be as much as possible! I wish you a speedy execution of precisely articulated desires!