Leave must be nice
The first period of separation is usually characterized by a strange, unnatural calm and lasts from a couple of days to a couple of weeks. Your mind is not yet fully aware of what happened. "Maybe it's my dream? - You think you are. - Or maybe I did and did not like? Or maybe it does and not a tragedy? "What all happened? And if something happened? Or maybe he'll be back? Or maybe you're still coming back?
Your current perception of the world may well be described as follows: "Spartan coolness" + "uncertainty" = the first days after the break. At this time you are able to think soberly, go to work as if nothing had happened and did not even use waterproof mascara! I believe you're doing splendidly, it can control the attacks of sobbing and even - oh miracle - the plans for the future!
You feel you're a surprisingly cheerful: Well, just like GI Jane and Nicole Kidman, ready, barely getting a divorce right there to win an Oscar and her new husband into the bargain. In the early days of separation triggered the so-called defensive reaction of mental stress. Your mind simply refuses to accept the dramatic situation, which means it's time to take advantage of the first rules of separation!
You're no longer believe in that life - a zebra, where each band is either black or white, and the third is simply not given. Anyone, even the saddest, the event must bear for you what the advantages and benefits. Before you say that fortune turned to see you back, it's worth checking, but is it true? Make a list of positive aspects of your break. Think carefully and find all the hidden benefits of separation. Try to understand why it is beneficial to you? Better to record their findings on the leaf and placed in a frame.
In your list can include a variety of items such as: "Now I can no qualms to flirt with the stunning blue-eyed messenger from the office" or "Finally something I can wear the ultra-mini skirt, which he could not stand." What more will get a list, the better. For example, my friend Sasha, abandoned a very promising and secured boyfriend Artem, who was believed enviable fiance, suddenly discovered that he can:
1) to return to his beloved work (R forbade her to build a career and generally get out of the kitchen);
2) spend money at their discretion (subject forced her to bring him all the checks and account for each purchase);
3) communicate with their friends (and as she had not noticed that she was under house arrest at the beloved tyrant?).
Thus, Sasha had to admit that all that was good for her, actually, is just beginning. "What if my ex was not a devil incarnate, Caligula and Hitler in one bottle?" - You ask. And yet the axiom "all the best in the best of all worlds" can not fail! Think Demi Moore. Do you think it is easy to part with a recognized Hollywood sex symbol of Bruce Willis?
Of course not. And the newspaper vengeance spared four decades diva. But only so long until she took up with young Hollywood star Ashton Kutcher. Thus proving that good - the enemy of the best! The reward for breaking it was a new wave of popularity, a young famous lover and a contract with Versace! And what gifts life has prepared for you?
While you're in a state of calm and composure, it would be good to settle all unfinished business with a former lover. The thin, delicate operation is desirable to crank so that it is from the category of simply "were" not moved to the rank of sworn enemies. need to part beautifully. Quarrel, fight, insult each other, television, thrown out from the balcony, have long gone out of fashion. Passion in the spirit of Latin American serials, of course, entertain your former neighbors. But here you are unlikely to something other than having to buy a new TV (if the old do not survive the flight from the ninth floor).
Now is your task to leave so that eventually you could become friends. Or at least did not remember each other unprintable words. Call him and quietly agreed to when you drive up on things. If you have a common property, begin diplomatic negotiations, during which decides who will take his cactus, who - the washing machine and the procedure for guardianship of your favorite dog.
Do not try to revenge, to make every last pin. This is especially true of gifts! For example, if you are bestowed him computer disks, not confiscate them now facing the executioner. Are you really going to play in the «War craft» or you are so desperately needed his razor with a floating head, presenting it as you on New Year's Eve? Leave him gifts, together with good memories. You do not order the victim. Believe me, this role is unattractive!
And if you tell him something like: "My nightgown, robe and slippers you can leave yourself! Wear to a new girlfriend! And I of you do not need anything! "- You are, at best, will lose all these things and you need to respect it, and at worst going to leave the battlefield for" ambulance ", carrying you to a mental hospital! Hysteric is dangerous to be at large. If the parting was not "politically correct" and now you're foaming at the mouth is ready to prove to all your friends that "you can not see this turkey," and would be better if you "have never met, take a deep breath and think: do you still an enemy? After anger comes and goes, and men's care you can still come in handy. Who do you turn when you have once again fly all the programs on my computer?
Keep the correctness and adequacy. All the same it is a person with whom you spent many happy hours. Be grateful to him for all the good he done for you.
Order your happy end
And now it's time to dream and to estimate their future plans. What are you going to do to become free, independent woman? Hopefully, not soul-searching and tears through the night into my pillow? Excellent! Imagine your future. You can go to the sea. Or in Paris. Blonde in disguise. Learn to dance belly dance and sew a cross. Achieve improvement in the workplace. Get the right and buy a car (a woman motorist will always find something to talk about with men, and so easy to attract attention to himself. Would you know how many violent novels began with a broken bus or flirtatious request to check the oil level).
True, it would be better if while your plans will not be associated with an urgent search for a new mate. Why? Motayas life between the former and future boyfriend, you could not help forgetting about the most important person in your life: about itself! Yes, soon, very soon you will find a new lover. But until that happens, enjoy freedom. And then, if you want to be a new favorite was better than ever (more secure, more attractive, more successful), then you very well and use your time sensibly and get better! Put yourself one great goal, for example, rose to the position of senior manager or to increase their income doubled.
And a few small, for example, lose five pounds, learn Italian, climb the Eiffel Tower, etc. It is better to write all their good intentions or even make a kind of "Book of Dreams" with colorful photographs and clippings of what you fantaziruesh. Stick the car you want to get a suit from Chanel, in which dream to earn the country in which you plan to visit. Often looked at this album and update their dreams. Be assured: your thoughts are materialized in the happy end. You will be surprised when you see how impressive results can provide a seemingly child's play.
But try to your dreams were more or less realistic. Unlikely to carry out the fate of fantasy like "I want to learn to fly," "I want a mansion in the Bahamas" or "I want to marry Prince William." Such "future plans" - no more than castles in the air. Dream about something real, and if your album will become a loyal friend and a source of positive emotions in a difficult period ... Also, if you think about, the hell you such a husband, the Prince William? Its because even during the May holidays out of town on the skewers do not pull!
