Marriage without love

In 1921 I was terribly sad: all the girlfriends is married, and I - no. In addition, my grandmother always kept saying: "the bride - it's not wine, and then not getting any better." In general, I decided to get married. From the first to suggest a hand and heart, has filed an application to the registrar. Two weeks prior to registration realized that getting married. Person with whom I set off down the aisle, was not the handsome prince, which he dreamed the whole youth. Future husband, I did not love. But the parents have purchased products, a friend sewed dresses. When it was from the barber shop with "Babylon" on his head, flashed the thought: escape from the wedding. Do not care at all! But can we as substitute parents? .. They live in a small town. How are they going after my "Finta ears" to watch people's eyes? So I decided to disentangle this mess to end.

When told what had happened to me a medical psychoanalyst Ilya Gezikovu, I was sure that my story - of extraordinary. "You told me a special case of" illness ", which is called" the dictates of public opinion. "Most people have a week, three days, a few hours before registering no desire to marry. The idea of escape is most often occurs in men who afraid, are not at the wedding. It is believed that this man's cowardice. I would call it a sober outlook on life.

The first and most common motive in encouraging young people to enter into marriage without love - the pressure of relatives, who believe that at some point, everyone should get married. Girls are afraid of unenviable title of "old maid" young people - the title of "bachelor." The second motive participation of girls and boys in noisy weddings - escape from parental custody. Look, Mom, I'm married, stop me, pushed around! But in the end to the oppression of the parent added conflicts with their spouse.

The third reason - the girls are married to escape their own complexes. This is what is called the stay "Caliph for an hour." For a girl who had been in the family Cinderella stepdaughter, his wedding is often the only opportunity to be in the spotlight. Self-affirmation through lush ceremonies.

If marriage no longer want to ...

Pre-wedding preparations - a small rehearsal for future family life: everything has been decided, people no longer hide the flaws that masked during courtship. If before registration you feel that your co-residence will not be a happy one hundred percent, we need to consider: a. whether you need this family?

When the mechanism of the wedding started and it dragged the mass of stakeholders - from anxious relatives to friends, who would like at the wedding of lettuce to eat, stop the car sometimes does not seem possible. Decision to abandon the marriage can be taken if a person honestly answer my own questions: for whom and for what needs this wedding? What makes you step over the boundary non-family life? As you can imagine the happiness?

If the result you decide not to enter into marriage, then do not do this. Inform your parents that you do not agree to the registration. Most likely, they will tell you: "You put us in a foolish position. Slyubitsya endure." Do not buy into that argument! You create a family is not for your mom or aunt of Tver. Shame on a single lot better than a bad marriage.

How not to make a mistake

What to do if you're not sure what marriage is not necessary, but only a doubt about the partner? In many situations, to help the victory out of the rough and tumble conclude a marriage contract. The contract that governs the property relations in the event of divorce. Firstly, it is insurance. Secondly, by itself, engage in dialogue at the level of business relationship a powerful test of strength for future family. Are you ready to solve all future problems now, before the wedding. If your partner refuses to sign the marriage contract, so he refuses to engage in dialogue. And what will happen after marriage?

Children will not help

If an unwanted marriage is concluded, to kill is not: let marriage and error, but not so irreparable. To err is human! But this saying is the continuation: "Only a fool tend to persist in their mistakes." In the end, could well turn out after the wedding of his wife something unpleasant. Youth Is this maximalism, or you really can not live with this person? Learn your partner better. If the family is in fact "quickie" divorce is not ashamed too fast: it is said, once married, you must live ... Better a horrible end than horror without end! The less time the existence of an unhappy family, the less trauma it will cause both partners. A huge mistake many women - for believing that a bad relationship with a spouse can be improved by the child. Think about it: if you two can not get along, then if you can get on with the third person? Eventually, the child - no tape and no barbed wire to bind you with your spouse, and independent person who is entitled to your dismantlings not to participate.