Playing with jealousy - playing with fire
According to most psychologists, women change their husbands because their family life lacks romance, novelty and unpredictability. All that women need to feel young, beautiful and desirable. Hungry for those feelings, she may go for treason. But the motivation for men has changed just as varied as the men themselves. The most common reason for going "left" - it certainly is in your feelings for him. For example, he realized that in bed with him you are not experiencing a comprehensive passion. Already one this finding may trigger a need to restore their own male attraction.
Frequently occurring reason for treason - his dissatisfaction with your intimate relationships. That means you have ceased to attract him as a woman, because, for example, sleep in a faded pajamas and curlers. At this point my husband inevitably occur erotic fantasies, in which you figure you will not. But often the reason for infidelity may be a chance encounter with his former love and even just a thirst for freedom. This means that, you may have turned the house into a tiger tamer and far too often flip whip. Here is a man and goes to look for the carrot, and along with that which they beckon.
Sometimes the woman herself dissatisfied with family life are apt to make ill-considered actions. And, as she sincerely believed in the benefit of the family. One of the most grandiose follies is to try to warm up cooling her husband's feelings with jealousy. Thus, the wife drives himself into a trap. Even if the attempt to awaken her husband possessiveness and be successful, he would have to be explained. And what can be said? That she suffers from a lack of manifestations of his love, and tried to tease him? It is unlikely that a reasonable man desire to please the wife, manipulate it. A side effect is such a game could be the need for a husband to keep his companion on a short leash, while raising much needed self-esteem in a society of some loving friend.
Or else to explain it does not even reach, because the spouse will collect your luggage and open the door. And he did it with sincere wishes of happiness and joy in your personal life. He could, and would like to leave, but hesitated, and then you gave him such a wonderful occasion! So the game with zeal - is playing with fire. But often, women tend to underestimate the strength of the feelings and the possible consequences of unsafe play. Often on such "exploits" a woman unwittingly pushes and the common opinion that jealousy is closely linked to love, and that without a sense of not more.
Love can not conquer with jealousy
A friend of mine, she is very smart and practical, has explained the reason for differences in their family, which until then in a circle of friends was considered almost a standard. "You know - she admitted to me in a confidential conversation - in fact I still can not forgive him: and that brings a little money, and that the lover is not so hot, and that cares little about the house. But he does not like me. " Begin to figure out what is a "do not like." "So he told me never spoke and did not show it." What should be? "Can you imagine, he's not even jealous of me! I told him absolutely not care! "Well, I think coming. What should? There is a reason? That is my friend formed a stereotype: not jealous, mean, does not like.
And her husband since childhood been told that a man should be restrained in the manifestation of their feelings. And he tries to seem dispassionate, but he is already almost at the stage of boiling. The more so because he honestly does not understand, what his wife is missing. As a result of attempts by his wife's jealousy pumped her husband to his nearly led to divorce. While one could try to just explain to each other, which eventually happened. Jealousy can occur, and the man who changed himself, as an expression of guilt. In this case, he begins to "judge for itself" and its confidence in the partner's infidelity.
Read about inspiring jealousy. I do not know. I am always amazed by people who have any sense, even the most negative and sizzling, able to draw their own advantage. This kind of mixture of masochism and gambling, which borders with the pathology. People who inspire jealousy, something similar to the gamblers. Their happiness is in constant pursuit of the selected object. Mandatory condition of such games - the inaccessibility of the desired and the desire for whatever it was to succeed. And jealousy merely acts as a catalyst, accelerating the process and maintained throughout the chase and conquest. This can be called Casanova complex.
Jealousy as a means to attract attention - it may be a way for such individuals. But about a happy family life with this type - I do not know. If only you have such views, and for you the most desirable is the one who is currently fascinated by another. In that case, what will you do after a hold of coveted object? While happiness has many faces, and especially during dreaming about it. And if you only intend to "play" to generate interest in yourself, you should be ready for what you need then for a long time to play this role. Do you think it is that you will succeed? Nevertheless, I know not one story in which it was jealousy that served as a starting point from which began to develop the relationship between two people.
Every love is like a work of art, unique, and can advise anything, but just love listening to your heart, often ignoring the arguments of reason. But the experience - this is also the wealth that you can not buy. And then it is well known that love is often baffled by the psychologists. So if you think you can win the love with jealousy - try! Perhaps attention to you by the raise your value in the eyes of a partner, pay attention to your dignity, which he had not noticed before. But know that you will find a difficult affair.
How to relate to the fact that you are jealous? Insist on their dignity. Jealousy jealousy, and humiliation and suspicion, control, fault-finding - are unacceptable and humiliating. If you can not establish trust relationship in which jealousy - only rivalry, fear of losing a loved one - it is quite possible, though not very pleasant. Jealousy is a selfish, morbid, as the humiliation of a loved suspicions - is ugly and ugly. That sense has no right to exist.
