Sociability of the child
Sociability of the child is determined by many factors, such as biological and social order. It is therefore very important that parents love their child for what it is and tried to help him in social adaptation. Working with children can be both individual and group form, as in purely child or parent groups and parent-child groups. Parents of children with emotional difficulties, including shyness, attention should be paid to the following points in the child's behavior:
1. Sleep:
a) how the child sleeps: fast or slow, requires there to sit with him not to put out the light, etc.;
b) how sleeps: hard, easy or mosque, talking in his sleep;
c) as a wake up: right or not, what kind of mood.
2. Relationship to food: he eats - willingly or not, choose the food or not.
3. Are there any instances of fear in the child, under any circumstances:
a) punishment, reprimand from adults;
b) The fears are not associated with the behavior of adults.
4. How does fear.
5. What joy a child and that makes him upset, frustration, resentment, what is the length of his experiences.
6. Can the child express our sympathy to their loved ones.
7. What are the emotions most frequently observed in his game, training activities, whether it is benevolent to their peers.
8. Does the child defends its interests and how to: find arguments, entreats, requires cunning, crying, etc.
9. How to respond to failure and success.
Psychologists offer the following advice to parents and teachers who interact with children experiencing emotional difficulties:
1. You can not teach a child to suppress their emotions, adults should strive to teach children the proper display of emotions, ability to guide them in the right direction.
2. The emergence of emotions caused by a process of interaction with the outside world. Necessary to teach a child to respond adequately to the processes and phenomena of the environment.
3. Do not seek to fully protect the child from negative experiences. Artificially created "greenhouse conditions" do not remove the problem, but only to push back the time of its decision. After a while it becomes even more acute. It is important to take into account the intensity of emotions, and not what they are negative or positive. Child needs a variety of emotions, since there was only one positive emotions, sooner or later cause boredom.
4. It is impossible to assess the child's feelings, it is impossible to claim that the child did not experience what he experiences. Most often, the turbulent emotions - an expression of long-term emotional time.
Such well-known psychologists Klyueva NV and Kasatkin Yu in order to increase the sociability of the child offer parents adhere to this style of behavior:
1) expand the circle of acquaintances of his children, often to invite his friends to take to visit friends, go out on various routes at the same time teach the child quietly receptive to new places;
2) does not seek to fully protect the child from all dangers, to do everything for him, to prevent any problems, you must give the child some measure of liberty in action;
3) it is important to constantly reinforce the child's confidence and their abilities;
4) the child should be encouraged to fulfill various assignments relating to communication, to create a situation in which would have come into contact with "foreign" adult.
Communication from parents
As we see, in the prevention of closure occupies an important place properly organized communication of parents with children. This can interfere with a variety of barriers. Consider the most common of them.
Employment barrier. Very typical for this time, when parents are busy at work and children almost no time, which makes them a sense of uselessness, removal from family, etc. Such a barrier can occur in different age stages of life and cause a variety of emotional disturbances , including the formation of shyness. Such a situation may arise in any family. even if the parents are generally positive people.
The barrier of age. Sometimes parents because of their age can not feel the seriousness of the child's experiences, they do not understand their interests, then, that the children seem very serious, adult perceived as a trifle unworthy of their attention. J. Korczak pointed out that adults need to climb to an altitude of children's feelings, stretch, stand on tiptoe.
Barrier of the old stereotype. Its essence is that parents do not feel the age dynamics of the individual's own child. For example, parents continue to perceive and treat the child as a toddler, not noticing that he has grown and demands of other relationships. This barrier hinders the development of a child's independence, a willingness to take risks. This barrier is very affectionate. He is overcome with difficulty, often interfering with the professional formation of the child, as parents impose on children's own views on their professional future. Dictate the style of relationships in young families.
Barrier educational traditions. In the educational tradition of a lot of positive, but often parents try to introduce mechanical and play in his own family the forms, methods and means of education, which were applied in families, when they were children. This duplication does not take into account changing conditions in society, in families where the level of development of children, etc. Enhancing the pedagogical culture of their parents - here is one of the main ways to eliminate this barrier.
Barrier didacticism. Manifests itself in a constant, on each occasion, teaching your own child: that he does not like to do, what to look for, etc. This position generates increased parental anxiety in the child, he is afraid of its every step, so as not to cause annoyance mom or dad. Child's personality dissolves into individual adult, the child loses its individuality.
In overcoming the difficulties in communicating the child's parents must help it. One way to help - it's changing the style of family education. Louise Hay - American psychologist and psychotherapist, says in the study of Children's Services that the child belongs to her as to him are his parents, it often goes all human problems.
