One woman had a problem. Very "rare" for Russian, and not only Russian, women. Her husband was drinking. Drunk to the point that she could not let him into the house. He slept on the stairs, and it happens quite often, in general, regularly. She had three daughters. When grown and married the eldest daughter, should there be such to happen, that her husband also began to drink. And he, too, had to leave to spend the night on the stairs. Likewise, the fate of cost and with a mean daughter. Guess what happened to the youngest daughter? That's right: the same thing!

This is not an anecdote. Daughter did exactly the same fate as her mother. What is the reason for this monstrous laws? Many attribute this ancestral curse, evil eye, damage ... in short, the influence of supernatural forces. Indeed, some mystic! But you can see the different origin of the problem. Mother, bringing up daughters, she unwittingly gave them a "project" future husband "scenario" for future family life. All of these women thus communicate with men, that they begin to drink and get drunk to the point that his wife, again rolled on the track, with a sample of how to behave in such cases, leave them to sleep on the stairs.

As you can see, nothing mystical, and genetics has nothing to do with it. This social heredity . Before you start talking about life scenarios, I will ask you to describe what, in your opinion, it tastes fried grasshoppers (assuming that you've never tried). I ask this question during the lectures and classes with groups. Give very different answers. Possible answers: something tasteless, something salty, something nasty. In addition, each comparing the locusts with something already familiar: someone with grass, some with dried fish or crabs. When a person has no idea about the fried locusts, he forms an opinion based on previous experience. He has a picture of a grasshopper, cockroach, dried fish, and on the basis of similarity on some grounds creates a taste image.

Another popular, somewhat humorous test. Take a piece of paper and a pencil. Try to draw a fantastic monster (say, an alien from another planet), which is nothing and no one else seems to. Show your imagination. Well, it came out? I bet not. The fact that the draw unprecedented monster is almost impossible. Even if he has the peacock's tail, the head of the hippo and the snake's body - it will be like a peacock, the hippo and the snake. You have drawn something amorphous and shapeless? Yes this is the slug or a jellyfish!

What lies at the bottom of the box memory?

From this hilarious psychological experience the following conclusion: man is limited in its vision of the world, in their actions by the perceptions of reality, which are incorporated in his mind since childhood. Not for nothing real "Mowgli" - the children, reared animals, never took root in human society. How do we take the information? Out of the box memory. How to boot this box memory and what is there? Once the baby comes the ability to properly see and hear his virgin mind begins to perceive everything. His brain is like a tape recorder, a microphone is anything not directed: it records all the sounds and noises in a row. So he gets used to the sounds of human voices, begins to distinguish the mother's voice from other sounds ...

When a child begins to understand the words, to distinguish between angry and gentle tone (and it happens before he starts talking), sounds are transformed into information. He "writes" demeanor parents, their style is their relationship with each other. If the parents are in constant conflict and the child sees it, he has laid in the minds of model: Mom and Dad have to quarrel with each other. At least, quarrel - it's not something out of the ordinary, that's fine. If a child sees a drunken father, the records in memory for the future: a normal man must be drunk. After all, my mother did not divorce from the Pope, though displeased. Hence, in another not. If dad or mom comes home from work and say: "You have to pour a glass, relieve stress, then the child learns for life: stress relieve glass of vodka.

Or meal. "The holiday just need a drink" - say adults, and a clear consciousness of the child "writes": holiday - it's when a lot of vodka and a visit with the owners to get drunk slo state. Holiday now! This information is loaded into the memory box and stays there "on demand". When locked box memory? When the accumulated information is sufficient to navigate in the environment. This happens in 7-8 years. Memory is selective. The man starts to a greater extent than before, using short-term memory. In order to remember any of the information for years, now need or a strong emotional experience (first love), or a willful effort (multiplication table). Basic human imagination about life, about himself, about the laws of human relationships already formed, and change them to others at an older age will be very difficult.

How do you call a boat, so it will float!

If a child the child is often heard from his mother: "You sad sack, slut, stupid", then, grew up, he will not know why all my life consider themselves unlucky. Mum's the word forgotten, hide themselves under numerous layers of information, but the installation will continue in perpetuity. Call a fool - would be bad in school, to commit foolish acts in his life. Call a monster - will behave and look like a freak. And call a handsome man or beautiful woman - will be all my life to attract people of the opposite sex, regardless of the objective external data.

Of course, not all that easy. Some parents are overly glorify their children do not make them any demands. Pampered "mama's little boy is unlikely to be successful. In this case, negative attitudes appear somewhat later, and it does not provide parents and the Environment: Children's team. But most parents are still behind the curve in another direction. Wanting to see his son or daughter is perfect and flawless, they are satisfied with the tragedy of the minor child's misconduct. Parents forget that for the normal development of personality is needed not only the successes and victories, but slips and mistakes. In addition, we are just not used to speak kind words to children, spouses and colleagues. Much more we express our indignation, and claims.