Tales about "I can not"
How often do we hear from other people - I can not! So says the boss, a pretty girl, wife, or husband, the official said. Sometimes we even believe this, but as often "I can not" speak for yourself? What lies behind this expression?
As a rule, you do not get what you want, or another person will deny anything. Denial of people upset, disappointed (if it was the charm), could be the cause of conflict, resentment. That's understandable. For example: - dear, marry me! - I can not! - Oh, you bastard!
I can assume that "can not" is a fairy tale in the sense that truth is not. Why?
Because, instead of "can not" often mean "I do not want" or "can not". But why did not say - did not want to, for example, to get married. Just not as good sound as "can not", it is the fault of some circumstances beyond the person causes that prevent anything done. If you say "I do not want", then there is the author of this reluctance, it is understood - I have decided, rather than the "stars are so arose.
If you are using this tale are denied, you can ask questions to clarify what is behind the "can not"? Think it is important to deal with them, because often such tales we tell themselves. For instance: I can not earn more, I can not be popular with girls, I can not lose weight, I can not run in the morning, get up early, do not eat at night, I can not stop to take offense if they ... he ... I I can not afford a new car, apartment, house, travel, vacation. The list may continue to own, it does not have an end because each person has his tales that begin with the words "I can not", how many people, so many tales.
Let's see, what to do? Can be a long story itself, why are we unsuccessful, beginning with the words, because "I can not," but nothing changes. It makes sense to talk in a different way to get a different result. For example, the case.
Instead, I can not earn more, tell yourself - I do not want to earn more, or - I can not. Then there is a chance to learn and to identify the secondary benefits that will give insight into why there is no desire to get rich. Telling the truth is useful to begin with myself to stop living an illusion and start to change something in their lives.
For resentful people.
In justifying their grievances, often lead one argument. I'm offended, because they ... more could be anything, for example, the bad, no respect, unfair, etc. Therefore I can not not be offended. And if you say so: I do not want to hurt myself to stop (offense), or do not know how to stop doing it. If favorably with tantrums, complaints, grievances, to get what you bonuses like money, respect and opportunities that may be useful to learn other ways to achieve the desired? If you do not know how to do it, you can learn to read the relevant literature, go to the "innocuous training" . But this is not the same limp - I can not, and conscious work with feelings, a decision to stop playing the victim.
What you choose?
What stands in the path to success?
What is useful to learn?
How to cease to be offended?
