The boundaries of personal space

So, you're communicating with someone. Note taking off, what the distance between you? Can you reach him a hand? No? Apparently, you are not too trust each other. This distance can be established even between the closest people, when they quarrel or grudge against each other. The child does not come close to a man who does not trust and who is afraid. While it may be, is that you are imposing just such a distance? Well, just try to reduce it. Come closer. What is the reaction of the interlocutor? Perceived reduction in distance of neutral, positive or moved away? Comment on the substance of these reactions, I think, is not it?

There are other ways to "gap distance" when a person does not accept you into their personal space, even in the immediate vicinity. First of all are physical barriers in the form of tables, desks, sofas, glass and so on and so forth. And used all of these accessories can be very cleverly, creating a sense of naturalness. Skilled manipulator of naturally sit down so that the armrest between you would be the chair will offer you a chair so that between you will be a coffee table or floor vase, and even if you sit on a sofa, between you somehow inexplicably turns decorative pillow or at least the remote on the TV.

And not necessarily that it was done deliberately. Rather the opposite: a man shows his attitude to you, I do not understand. More than that: often we ourselves have not decided consciously in our relation to man, however, the unconscious choice is already done and showed it clearly, instinctively otdernuv his hand while trying to shake hands with you, or quickly escaping to the kitchen, ostensibly for treats for the guest . Of course, it is possible and the opposite option: Your partner is trying all means possible to reduce the distance, sits close to you, in a conversation comes close when it is not something that the hands and lips can touch ... quite an attractive option, is not it? I think not necessarily be a great psychologist, to unravel the relationship to you of this man.

If, moreover, your partner is a man of your age and the opposite sex, he is completely relaxed, his movements smooth and natural, a look almost detached from your face ... I dare to suggest that this is nothing other than love. However, not necessarily to love someone to try to reduce the distance, to enter his personal space. Among other things, violate the private space and common thugs when they try to get to your face. But there mutual trust and does not smell. However, in general, the rule works well enough: if a partner tries to get close to you closer (usually at arm's length), - means he trusts you and allows you to enter the circle of his interests. He made you in your personal space, and this implies a fairly high degree of confidence, because now you can influence it in the open, its energy. However, as he was for you.

Although the distance - it's not all. The fact that their own boundaries of personal space in different people - different. Some people have trouble even in that case, if they see someone on the horizon, while others do not react even physical contact. So the measure of all one size fits all, alas, will not succeed. Fortunately, there are other methods that allow more or less reliably determine the degree of interest in you, your partner. For example, the position of his feet. Indeed, our socks indicate precisely the direction where we're going, of course, if we do not expose the leg. When walking socks are always "look" forward, anticipating the direction of motion. When a person stands, there is the same, only static.

And now pay attention to the toes of your partner. Where do they point (meaning a situation where partners stand facing each other)? Straight at you? Very good. Hence, this individual is not going nowhere to run and clearly interested in communicating with you. Of course, this rule applies only under favorable circumstances. If you are considering with a shop window, would agree, somewhat unnatural on the part of your partner's toes turn out in your favor, orienting the body in the back. But overall the trend, I think, is clear. In group communication usually works this way: if both partners stand facing each other, socks, their feet are parallel, the third here - once, and it will simply be ignored. This is something that can be a variety of ways: from total rejection to the angry resistance. Even if you exchange a few words, the essence of them will be reduced only to induce you to leave a partner in peace.

Another thing, when in response to a request to join in the conversation, one partner (better - both) a little turn in your favor, not only housing but also toed feet. Thus, we can expect that you are accepted into the conversation - you admit in their personal space. When you turned to the only body, not unrolling foot, we assume that you pay attention just as much as you want to get rid of your presence. In the long keen discussion can be expected no earlier than when the conversation will unfold to you toes. True, excessive only here to harm: if one partner suddenly takes place close to you, his socks are looking straight at you, the person coming back to back, and arms straight again, seeking physical contact means, as a rule, that we, as Mr Panikovsky will beat him, maybe his feet.

Open and closed positions

By the way, to approach the pair, who speaks, being in the position described above - that is, facing each other, just impolite. This means a violation of the established contact. So if you need something urgently to find out, look for a single person or group that currently is in the open position. An open position is different situation of partners in relation to each other - they usually turn to each other half-turned, toes not focused directly on each other, but slightly to the side. Such a pair (or group) can be "invasion" from the side. Open position does not mean that partners are not interested in each other. Usually this means that the conversation is not too important, to prevent interference from outside. Just entertaining conversation.

Keep in mind that the position of toes sometimes gives more objective information than the general situation of the body. Thus, the half-turn case of one partner in a group in your party at a fixed position of the feet does not mean that you are ready to take in his circle. Quite the contrary: you will be going to "dismiss". Quite another thing if your intention to join the conversation to you wrapped toes, not focusing yet on your side of the body: apparently, the sides just in a hurry to finish some important topic, and will fill you.

But the position of the body is also of great importance. Please note that in a closed or open position is your source. What? You do not know what the closed position? Then imagine that you are going to hit a man with something heavy. What is he doing? That's right: closed hands, knees, or something else. In this case, his body, usually shrinks, stiffens, and, figuratively speaking, waiting for impact. " Another thing the open position: imagine that you have something to give to your wife (husband, child, mother-in). Something that she (he) could not wait to get hold of for years. Position your partner? Wide-open hands, palms to you, the body is singing for joy, some tightness there!

In fact, open and closed positions are very different, so that I have cited an example of just one of the illustrations, the transmission, rather, mental state of a person demonstrating a closed or open position. Although the difference in these positions do not appear so be easy. Closed positions mean "closure" of energy channels themselves (in the language of bio-energy), and therefore in a position limbs of your contact will be closed. That is, the hands will be intertwined crosswise laid foot in the leg or even form a sort of vines, fingers, usually in the castle. True, described the position is too ostentatious. As a rule, a person needs one of these gestures to show you her secrecy.