The distribution of roles in the family

Say that the family should always be the head, which solves all the issues, we would not dare. While it may, there are families in which such option is the most correct. But this is fraught with dangers of all kinds. As a rule, the younger generation does not agree with this and rebellion of children against the dictatorship is inevitable. The consequences of such rebellion is uniquely negative. The winner is young - and begins to reject all the things they were taught, because this view comes from a dictator. As a result - lost, remains unclaimed experience of a generation. The one who dominated in the past - and young people can form a complete passivity and lack of interest in solving all the problems, the child will forever remain a slave and could never, and will hardly want to become an independent and adults.

But basically, in a normal family all issues are addressed collectively, and is dominated by the one who is more competent in specific problems. With the scandal or not, still is the case. If we take it for granted, and periodically will take a dominant role, the role of slaves, and thus learn how to make it equally talented and with a good heart, many family problems will disappear by themselves. Is it bad? Not on your nelly. All roles are good if they do not bring harm to you or others, do not interfere with your freedom of self-determination.

What is wrong if the girl becomes an adult suddenly unsettled failed to comfort his girlfriend rendezvous? Yes, she now serves as a parent (or rather - the Mother), but that man is getting better, so what's the matter? Yes, the role of the child means that we will take care of, we have something to donate, we regret that we do not have to make the decisions themselves. But is not our life will be better if it all disappears? If the relationship will only be built under the concept of an Adult - "I like you - I tell you?" Many real pleasure taking care of someone, to act as guardian, to appear patron. Why not give him that opportunity? Let it only role, but in these roles people spend their lives. "What is life? A game! ". It is quite another thing when you impose your uncharacteristic role, a role play that you dislike. In this case, you can either change it or stop playing altogether (which by the looks, in general, somewhat artificially), or to alter the script.

What matters is that some agreement about what each family member better and more productively solve a range of issues, and the rest agree to be competent roles in the family. In a family man, in general, there are only two possible existence : either constantly work on themselves, clambering up the evolutionary ladder, or slowly slide down. The family is the strongest catalyst for these processes, since there is nothing that changes the man, as responsible.

Especially want to say about the men who lend themselves to the fact that, having married, get a tempting opportunity to take advantage of the maternal instinct of his wife. Roll down, of course, easier, and at first, and more fun. Let us all make for a wife, mother-in-law, children (husband, father, uncle, good), I'm here until the rest on the couch yeah krosvordik fortune. If they love me, let him take care, do not you? By the way, sometimes these still-born families are very resilient. Especially when one spouse is the role of parent. Well, can not imagine life without it in order not to dragging someone through life on their shoulders.

With such a wife and himself is not a sin to be a kid. Have to sacrifice a little: their personal development and freedom. However, many believe that with the acquisition of a family man is still losing freedom, so that with such a loss can probably be tolerated. But the thing: all too often come across people who are ready to connect his life with infantile creature, wanting to flit carelessly over his broad shoulders (not necessarily male). And life, figuratively speaking, drone ... a few bored or something?

A good, strong and prosperous family must have at least two powerful support. And those legs themselves should be spouses,

and not let them and the best vice in the form of in-law, Tiffany's, "Uncle Kolya" or social security. Family - is not a static formation. This close coexistence of individuals facing common tasks of survival and prosperity (word erased, but good). And in order to effectively carry out the mandate of the Almighty (remember - "Be fruitful and multiply"?) Will make a great effort. And how? With the creation of a family man cares not only about his ego. Now these "I" has a lot (maybe seven, as suggested by the very sound of the word "family", and perhaps much more). And how could it be otherwise? "And shall cleave unto his wife to her husband, and there will be two - one flesh." By his wife should he added her relatives, then "cleave" children, grandchildren ... In general, it is necessary turns. The husband should all be able to do the Father must know everything, to love wife's mother in-law, master of the family ... His wife should be to provide life, raise their children ... Just like in the "White Sun of the Desert": "And all alone?" Well, if I do not yet know how , that - I do not know to this issue and come up ... I'm afraid Teach life itself. If we want to learn. And agreed to make to this effort. These efforts and our work on themselves to our personal growth.

In the way of personal development we have to overcome many thorns. Among them will be extremely unpleasant, and such phenomena as stress and depression, resentment, complexes, misunderstanding ... How can "calculate" scenario in your life? Yes, in general, not difficult. Script - this is the intended course of events, what we expect or intend. This is not a rigid structure: every scenario flexibility of its application, the creative process and improvising. But only in its rather rigid framework. As part of the script itself ...

Where did they come from, these scenarios? First, the unconscious scenario, we get in childhood. Family relationships, an example of parents, even fairy tales, in which we try on the role of heroes. Then when the time comes to comprehension and analysis, we draw plots of such scenarios are literally everywhere. From books, movies and everyday life. Scenarios suggests to us educators, TV, we absorb their mother's milk, and notices of those nearest and dearest people, we impose their surrounding society, collective, state, our children, friends, enemies ...

Write your own script - the script of the family, career, life, risk. Even better, if it is a script that you write with his family. Learn how to play different roles, change them, while remaining one and the same person - and this will greatly facilitate your life.