The nature of shyness
Different researchers have different interpretations of the phenomenon of shyness. As personality traits, it begins to operate already in infancy, and a foothold in the future, brings much suffering to its owner. There are data that suggest that the symptoms of shyness are already observed at 3-4 months, but it is safe to say the discovery of this quality in the second year of life. U.S. scientists claim that, according to their research, children who showed extreme shyness in the second year of life, find it in seven and a half years. The consequences of shyness can be very sad. Just to name a few:
1) shyness prevents a person from communicating, it is difficult to make new friends, participate in the crowded events, and thus enjoy communion; social circle is limited, usually family framework;
2) a shy person is often not able to openly express and much less defend their own opinions;
3) the outside is difficult to evaluate the merits of a shy man, as he hesitates to show them off;
4) often coexist with a shy lonely, depressed mood, the prevalence of negative experiences, a world painted in dark tones;
5) a shy person too focused on themselves, it is inherent in the behavior of self-centeredness;
6) sometimes shyness becomes all-consuming quality and prevents productive to think and act.
Thus, the presence of a man of such personal traits as shyness, negative effect on his mental health and hinder social adjustment. The negative impact of shyness is determined and the possibility of negative effects on the mental processes, the processes of memory and perception, especially the distorted perception of itself. Man does not see their positive qualities. It is a small, pathetic, good-for-nothing, etc.
In a state of extreme shyness people forget the obvious things that can not be connected to construct a sentence, it becomes temporarily unable to think logically, to perceive the incoming information. Shyness prevents even perceive beauty. Thus, in the experiment of male students were asked to remember the message that they should pronounce a charming woman. At the end of the study revealed that all nezastenchivye pointed to outstanding external data companion, while they did not seem shy, even attractive.
Data from different researchers can confidently assert that the nature of self-consciousness - this phenomenon is universal and deeply popular. It is peculiar to people of any age, but still more common among schoolchildren, particularly teenagers. In adolescence, self-esteem varies with respect to certain characterological traits, increased egocentricity, and with it, and shyness. It is characteristic of adolescents often think about what the opinions of the people around them. The literature provides evidence that in adolescence, girls are more shy than boys, which is likely explained by the great desire of sexual attraction for girls.
How does shyness?
Externally, shyness may manifest itself in different ways. This can be embarrassing, which occurs only occasionally in the presence of individuals, and may take the form of constant anxiety that accompanies a person in various situations of communication and tormented his life. Sometimes shyness takes the form opposite. The man starts to behave quite aggressively, and even casually, thus attempting to hide his embarrassment. Some researchers are even inclined to say that shyness can cause aggressive behavior.
According to them, constantly experiencing stress, a shy person is not able to adequately confront their "inferiority." In this case, embarrassment, discomfort can turn into anger, which went out of control, manifested in unmotivated cruelty and violence. However, such a view is supported only by individual systematized observations. Thus, the above examples suggest that the external manifestation is difficult to ascertain the presence of a man of such qualities as modesty. Nevertheless, these manifestations are still there. Consider just some psycho-physiological manifestations of shyness.
Shy people call the following physiological symptoms:
1) palpitations and rapid pulse;
2) sweating;
3) a feeling of emptiness in the stomach.
However, these symptoms are experienced, most people in moments of strong emotional feelings. Specific manifestation of the same shyness appears flushing. Also, for shy people characterized by excessive attention to all these physiological manifestations. Sometimes they foresee in advance of their attack, and therefore avoid situations that can cause them: give up important meetings, do not fly on an airplane, are late for an exam, etc. Closure - is "a desire to shy man to avoid contact with others ... unwillingness to talk even if necessary, ... propensity to silence ... the desire to avoid an easy conversation. "
Confusion may have each person, and many in this blush. People hesitate when experiencing a short-term reduction in self-esteem, he feels that he is unable to communicate effectively. Often confusion arises in situations of failure, particularly in public. Therefore, many people prefer to shy in life is not guided by the motive to achieve success and motive of avoiding failure. Confusion has the same characteristics, like many other emotions, especially shame, fear, guilt and concern, and it can be regarded as the connection of positive and negative feelings in relation to social interaction.
Increased tendency to introspection as is typical for shy people. Ability to self-analysis serves as an obligatory quality of a mature personality. However, shy people self-assessment becomes obsessive. Paul Pilkonis identified two main types of shy people: externally and internally shy shy. For the people of the first type is important, how they behave, for the second - how they feel.
Outwardly shy person (socially shy), all their fears, problems have to accumulate inside. He can not share it with other people and thus get no useful advice, no concrete assistance. Such people tend to fall into the category of outsiders, their careers is difficult, since they do not tend to show their worth.
Intrinsically shy person (personally shy) - apparently more successful than the previous type. People may not even guess about his problems, while the success sometimes comes at the cost of huge domestic efforts, demonstration of good lessons in communication skills, avoidance of situations that he can not cope.
Shy people, and first and second types are lost in the situation of informal meetings, impromptu parties, if necessary, taking initiative. They would rather follow a leader than himself to take responsibility. It should be noted, and positive self-consciousness, first of all, shyness can keep the child from communicating and become more familiar with strangers, to prevent overexcitation of the nervous system, regulating the activity of the autonomic nervous system, but remember that your child's shyness gives no little trouble, and can negatively affect the future of a child.
