Self psychologists compared with the emotional reservoir. Once it becomes empty (ie the child for quite some time no one can boast, is not enthusiastic about, or just not paying attention to him), the child begins snikat like a flower without water, lose interest in life. Children need more emotional strength to overcome the indifference or rigidity of others. But our praise and admiration can be directed to the child, his personality, and may - just on his behavior and actions. In the first case, we form the core of his ideal self, in the second - the level of external claims of the child (what he can do, "what is good and what is bad"). Value punishments and rewards the child and their different orientation of the times and create the conditions for the future of our children.

High self-esteem - a high level of claims recorded in the formula, "You're the best in the world and you can do whatever you like!" The image of unlimited internal resources and external opportunities endless looks positive and it seems very attractive, if a child has really good abilities, and the environment is ready support the ambitions of a young, growing bodies. But today even the children of royal families are taught to match their requests with the needs of others and behave in accordance with its real achievements and, at least in accord with morality and the laws of the countries in which they were born.

High self-esteem, but a low level of claims means that the baby is so good that there is nothing more and desire. Well, the charm that the little girl, a miracle that the boy! This charming slacker, however, very inoffensive - that's who we're growing, hard, pricked their children for no apparent reason.

Low self-esteem and low aspirations mean that the child is not interested in anyone, perhaps even prevent, and nobody teaches neither live, nor care for themselves, nor play, nor to communicate ... The worst you can imagine. He said something like: "You have some unlucky! Be careful, as many dangers in the world! "," How will you live? You also can not leave any for a moment. Necessarily something happens! "

And finally, low self-esteem and a high level of claims - a classic neurotic who does not believe in yourself, do not know that he really can, but is programmed from childhood to become a famous pianist or an astronaut. Though someone. His little praise, but often reminded that the family expects it, and that makes life worth living, only to hit the world of incredible success. "Perhaps in the future you'll be lucky, and you'll be successful, but such data can only hope for a miracle," "Of course, anyone can become an astronaut, but in our family has never been Astronauts!"

And as always, the norm in the middle. Unconditional love in a traditional upbringing personalizes, usually the mother. Her emotional contribution determines the level of self-esteem of the child. Father of "responsible" for the level of claims, he should organize contacts of children learning to plan their activities. As we see the harmony in the family affects children's development. The traditional family where the father earns, and provides, protects and plans, and the mother cares unconditionally love and support, it seems most appropriate to the normal, harmonious development of the child.

It should avoid extremes: excessive strictness and high external control, on the one hand, and excessive admiration, amounting to our own emotional dependence on children. And that, and another is at the basis of neurotic personality development. Psychoanalysts believe that the high control, which belongs to the traditional education of the father, can lead to high anxiety and fears, compulsive and excessive suspicion of the child. Excessive love of a mother may push the consciousness of a child other relationships - with other children and relatives. It is sad, but 20 years later we see the mother lives with her son, who did some reason are not satisfied with personal life. None of the candidates in a sloppy mom. Nobody is ready to worship the woman who raised her son alone, and without recognition of maternal authority are not let in the house.

How to teach your child to love you?

Love - this is the most important factor in child development and later personality development is already an adult. How we love our children? What is love? It is believed that in response to our love child will respond in kind. If this were true! Overfed love egocentric, the cynics who believe that everything is created for them - children who are loved, but which do not require replacement ... How to teach your child to love you :

Rule one: the family must be somebody else, more weak and in need of assistance. It can be a hamster, cat, whimsical cactus. The main thing that this concern was realized your child as something necessary and important. Boys and girls need to understand that mood, health, ability to enjoy life with other beings is directly dependent on them. It is therefore important not only to show how to care for, feed, clothe, fondle each establishment, but also pay attention to the changing emotions of those who tries to help the kid.

Rule Two: Adults in need of help and care. Because all sometimes suffer from a little tired, or just a little sad. "Baby, tell me something tender. I'm so tired! "- You can ask your kid. "Help-ka move this chair. Without you I would not cope. I have a lot to do, and I need a good assistant like you! "Or:" I have a headache. Who put me his little magic stick on forehead? "

Rule three: children learn empathy in the game with each other. But it never happens by itself. Children play on their own at first. Caregivers of the younger group of kindergartens know that kids need every three years in his toy, because playing together, they still can not. But a year later, children begin to willingly play the simple role-playing games under the guidance of adults. Here in this moment and need not formally join a children's story, but always tell how it feels to all the players. Talk about the states, emotions and experiences to directly, clearly: "She was crying," He rejoices, "she rejoiced," "He jumped for joy up to the ceiling!"

Rule Four: let them learn from the clowns and puppets!

Some exaggeration in the expression of emotions to convince the kid in a reality sense heroes. Remember how they empathize clowns at the circus. But the clowns and their behavior - the living embodiment of hyperbole: a big smiling mouth from ear to ear, large innocent eyes, eyebrows house, a shaggy-haired wig, unnatural colors. And what size caps, hats, berets, and cylinders? Clown tradition just helps kids 3-6 years old do not miss the circus between the numbers of adults. Clown doing what amuses baby - falls, tumbles, loses its buttons, playing weird instruments. And always in his face painted colors of emotion.

Children still do not capture the nuances in her feelings. They must learn that with your help then. But while they themselves draw large shapes - round face, stick hands and feet, laughing up corners, or straight mouth ... puppeteers (who makes dolls for children's theaters know), this feature of the "enlarged" the child's perception, so each doll has its own special look. Moreover, the leaders of puppet theater and children's studios teach children and themselves to make beautiful and different dolls. This is a great psychological training for kids.

Barbie as the only puppet exhibit for your baby so bad that she had minor facial features. Despite the diversity of colors "glamorous" dolls for the kids, they all look the same, and therefore they are treated without any person. Girls are willing to dress-stripped of their foreign guests, but to play Barbie virtually no one. Princess can only command and to take delight. They are beings without emotion and his own person, doomed to loneliness.

I can not get rid of one child of fear. If the next generation will be the generation of consumers, then who will make all this happiness? Only the children of poor, uneducated from layers? What would it be for a world in which the poor and the skillful will plow the rich and lazy? All of this has been in history and ended badly. And seen the hordes of war similar to the equally Barbie pink dress against the millions of old, battered, but such warm dolls - dolls, which played even grandmothers. Who do you?