Want to help - help create a perspective
Shamed person for a parasitic way of life - is meaningless. Do you have a younger brother. Brother of 20 years, he rides goosey, mostly playing on the computer. Mom sighs, seeing the light in his room till 3-4 o'clock in the morning, leads with the sad interview and continues to feed him. That is something how it works, but the main thing is that he knows: while next to him mom, he always have a place to live and he will never be hungry again. He has all right. With her mother to say useless, but my brother you want to help. How?
At every opportunity to shame for its parasitic life? Meaningless. It does not work, and the last contact with his brother will lose. For him to look for different qualities of work and motivate labor lifestyle? Useless. Not interested. Why? The mother feeds ... Strictly speaking, the most important obstacle to the maturation of twenty offspring is a mom who cares about him. If suddenly there is a way to deprive the mother's brother's tutelage, everything will be easier: it will make life work. If suddenly there is not such a method, the main focus should be forming a picture of his future.
Oddly enough, most people have little to think seriously about what is in their life a few years, especially - in the long run. Well, he lived today, as it will live tomorrow. Will be a day - will be food. And that soared ahead of time? You can not go wrong: your brother about his future, not thinking. But while he understands what he needs in life, will not see their targets in the next few years, his life for him senseless and easily changed to computer entertainment. How to do it? Someone who is not interested - involves.
The most beautiful and gentle way - is to involve him in these reflections, beginning with him to consult over the plans of their own. A normal evening, a convenient excuse, you're good to sit together and your question is: "... I think I want to consult on their plans, I need to figure out what I should be in 3 years. Options such ... What do you say? "If dragged to the topic, the conversation can easily spread to the possible plans of his brother. When that will work indirectly to the subject of eyeliner, random casts aside his thoughts. Watch TV, transfer of training lawyers. You can easily, by the way, asking: "On the career of a lawyer thinking? You interested in it? "If the conversation begins, it all happened well, if not start, you can not force the topic: lose credibility.
To give a feeling of success and the belief that a person will - with the best care. As a help from you to your brother need a sense of success, the belief that he will succeed. Give him support. Want to help - help create the future. But beyond that, it needs an external organization, including the necessary pressure and kicks. But - good kicks and intelligent pressure. Against blunt pressure he would have no objection, the pressure against it will cause his resistance. He needs a vision, understanding and feeling that everything is exactly he wanted it all done for him, all this for him properly.
Works best union demands and heat. How to organize its first steps? Again - you can talk to him quite openly, and works best union demands and heat: "I want you to have mastered driving and handed over to the right. Then you'll be able to help my mother and I can you more likely to include in their affairs. " Notice what moments give effect to that phrase. "I want" - a public statement about their interests, to demonstrate your openness and sincerity. "Can you help my mother" - good intentions, always warm. "Will you often include in their affairs." You talk like as their own interests, but in fact open attractive prospects for him ...
