What will happen after the divorce?
Since the main initiators of divorce - women, they would be nice to know ourselves, what will happen after the divorce . Some of the generalizations made here, you will not find in any book.
Divorce worsen your material status
For example, in the U.S. the cost of one hour of a lawyer is estimated at 200-300 dollars, but to jump out of the family boats need 5-10 thousand dollars and 2-3 years of court fights. In addition, the winner is the one who is richer. That's why our girls seemed to have successfully married to foreigners are fleeing back home, taking their children with them: they are simply financially not play any of the child, nor fortune. Russian divorce in this sense, the cheapest and easy procedure, but they are more psychologically dangerous.
900 women each year are killed by jealous husbands, who are just unaware of the presence of an opponent. 14,000 die from domestic violence: they want to leave, but no such luck. But the collapse detotsentristskoy French family strengthens the right of inheritance for children through: his wife, even after living with her husband 10 years, loses his inheritance, for that matter, and subsequent wives. The inheritance is divided between the children's father. The Americans are judged mainly due to children as property to them and so divided.
But then the divorce is assessed not only as a psychological trauma, comparable with the death of a loved one, but as a worsening financial position. Women worry about the direct reduction of income: they need to feed their own children. Men are more concerned about the fact that the physical restrictions of the territory, if you have to move to a smaller living space. In addition, our men tend addicted to his parents, where life is arranged and adjusted. Special hope they have for their mothers. Or in their lives should be imminent remarriage - the lady with the territory, sometimes first got "good" woman.
Thus, restored peace, possession and power of men. By the way, animal psychology argue that any male is going crazy when it deprived estates. Zoology ... Like my mother, and children, who tend to stay with her, instead of the expected improvement in their life, get all the evidence of their insecurity and worthlessness. I am very sympathetic to the situation of women in marriage to a man who does not want to support the family either financially or emotionally, but so far in life after a divorce the material and social status of women is deteriorating.
Divorce worsen your reputation, even if you are holy
The primary responsibility for family well-being rests with the woman. Divorce is becoming a stain on the reputation of women: not saved the family home, do not come up with something edakogo, cunning, to appease her husband, to comfort. Public morality still requires a woman to be the guardian of the hearth and be responsible for the welfare and safety of the family. In this case we get closer to the norm of Muslim women pleasures. Women are not in a hurry to remarry.
First, they claim to love and to see that the basic condition and the reason for creating a family. Love - this is the realm of informal relationships in which our women feel like a fish in water. "He did not like me" - talking about her ex-husband, a woman. "She did not listen," - says our man, relying on authority and obedience.
After a divorce, you will have more to deal with children, rather than a
Meanwhile, the divorce will require one to two years, so you can recover psychologically, to stand on their feet, adapt to new situations. Because of the relationship we have to say is not accepted, then the divorce becomes a fight where everything is solved by force. Contrary to your perception of a fair divorce, the father of children can not only help financially, but did not participate in his upbringing. Only 44.1% of fathers who were divorced less than 5 years ago, often with their children. Further figures are on the decline: if after the divorce took place 5-9 years, I often see kids just want to 31,9% of the fathers.
If passed more than 10 years - only 24.5% of fathers. The share of those who met with the children rarely increases, respectively, with 43.7 to 54.5%, and those who do not meet ever - from 12.2% immediately after the divorce to 17.2% after 10 years. Of course, the frequency of meetings of fathers and their children after divorce affect the differences between spouses. If there are disagreements 17% of fathers after divorce, never see their children. Sometimes children, growing up, correct the mistakes of their parents. But this is only if the fathers themselves want to maintain relationships with children and educate them. And polls show that only half of the fathers who do not have contact with children afflicted similar situation.
Thus, only a third of fathers, as judged by their own estimates, often see their children and may in some way engaged in their upbringing. However, the responses of women in the same matter differ significantly from the responses of men: they are twice as likely to say the lack of any relationship between father and children (34,9% vs 17,2%), the ratio does not change, even if the spouses live in one city (26.3% vs. 11.7%). Thus, our men tend to exaggerate their involvement in raising children after divorce, while it is limited to child support. In theory, they recognize for a commitment, but in practice are many reasons to take time off, turning all the arrows on the spouse: my fault, no need to divorce.
Games with child support are known all divorced women. Initially may be asked not to apply for child support, not to devote the staff in family affairs: that he will pay. Then pay only from time to time, promising spectacular gifts to children in the future, up to a computer, a trip abroad, cars, apartments. And after divorce, many women and children are counting on an improvement in relations with ex-husband and father. In addition, fathers often do not know how much money is spent on maintenance and upbringing of the child, and I sincerely believe that the strap monthly allowance for child care, which places the state, provides a living wage. The basic income fathers often is the notorious "black" wages, which is almost impossible to collect alimony.
